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Teen Poetry #5
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Can't you hear my silent cries?
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Can't you hear my silent cries? |
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LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
Can't you hear my silent cries wrapped in layers of little white lies tired of too casual and permanent goodbyes Sick of being asked the whats and the whys Angry with the too often exclaimed sighs ready to cut off these restraining ties Looking into the mirror at pain filled eyes Can't you hear my silent cries? Can't you feel my tireless stares from eyes much too used to disaproving glares from mind clouded over with pointless affairs and a body trying to forget all of its cares Am incomplete soul cut over by deep painful tears An intellect filled with mistakes and errs and a spirit complete with many despairs Can't you hear my tirelss stares? Can't you see my shaking grasp accompanied by too many a gasp and voices insecure, unsteady, and rasp on my heart a sturdy, unbreakable hasp but when my heart breaks as fragile as a clasp memories to painful to relive the past and moments that I wish could forever last Can't you see my shaking grasp? I was drowning in my own tears, until you threw me a life preserver |
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| © Copyright 2002 Lisa Bednarz - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
I know how you feel. The way I took this was that sometimes the things that people miss are the ones you wish they would notice; the ones that are right in front of them. Great write! Don't let your mind wander, it's much to small to be out by itself. |
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LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
I read a poem by Alive Again about screaming with her mouth shut, thats what triggered this. You can look at me and see one thing, but if you look farther down you can see what needs to be seen. Next time someone looks at you, look deep into their eyes, there will always be something hidden deep inside them, that needs to get out. ~LCBS I was drowning in my own tears, until you threw me a life preserver |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was so powerful. You expressed your feeling and pain so well in this poem. You write with a lot of expression..absolutely wonderful but i am sorry that you have such a thing to write about in your life  BoOsH bOoSh nApoLE |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Powerful! The Titus Let the music set you free. |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Awesome job here. I wrote something earlier today along these same lines. You did a great job, and the rhythm was nice. I look forward to more! |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
awesome, just awesome!  ~If u luv something, let it go,if it comes back 2 u, its urs, if it doesnt, it never wuz..~DMX |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Oh my...wow. This is remarkable. I could completely relate to this. The feelings are so close to home...the feeling I got from reading it was too familiar. The imagery is awesome but I'm so sad for you. To think that you're going through something like this. Things do get better eventually. I'm a hypocrite in this sense but I've been told things do change. Eventually. Take care of yourself and thanks so much for posting this. ~AF~ If this is all the world has to offer, I want a refund on my life. |
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Devils Angel 666 Member
since 2001-11-30
Posts 71CT, USA |
Very good Peom. I can relate to this in meny different ways. Good write. |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
*blinks* Woah. By the powers vested in me, I hereby proclaim that you are groovy. I loved this poem, though I did find the rhyme scheme a tad bit boring and repetitive (which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but more of a personal preference), the rest of the wording was superb. Incredible feeling, incredible depth, incredible emotion. You should be proud of this one. -Adam |
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LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
"boring and repetitive" of course you know, this means war...my smurfs can take on your teletubbies anyday! JK, thanks for being honest, its refreshing and it needed to be said... ~LCBS |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
oh wow this was wonderful....its really write where every line rhymes...excellent job. there werent any funnny rhymes or nething. awesome! *kiley **You can't always trust the people you want to** |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
I'm quite sure the smurfs can beat the teletubbies anyday!!! I sooo love Handy smurf..lol:P hey I had a thing for lil blue guys when I was 6;p jk..anyways back to the point awesome poem and I agree with Adam, but I don't use the word groovy:p lets just say hrm...you have an amazing way with your emotions and feelings..teach me ol' great one!! Love, Kristen |
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LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
yes I agree, what exactly does groovy mean? Should I be happy? Thanks Kris, someone who finally appreciates little blue men..... ~LCBS Exeryone makes mistake, learn from them and move on, because tomorrow we'll make more... |
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sleepymoongirl Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157bc canada |
i love that poem its how i feel some of the time. as u go in life there will be ur hardships it is up to u if it makes u or breaks u. |
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sean mani Junior Member
since 2001-08-06
Posts 27 |
i liked it...it was pretty powerful...u had some sort of an violence tone in the poem which is good. sean |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
LCBS, I too have the problem of people looking on the outside and seeing a different person than the one who is inside. Great poem, although sad. Dawn |
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