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Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2002-01-27 03:25 PM

I heard that you were crying.
I've never heard you cry before.
She broke your heart
and you're just as stubborn as I was
when you broke mine.

You don't believe that she's gone
and I always thought you would come back.
She broke your heart
and you're feeling the same way I felt
when you broke mine.

At first I was glad that you saw
what it feels like when you've got no one
She broke your heart,
and I hope you never have to feel the way I did
when you broke mine.

I guess I still care too much
I guess I want to protect you
I guess I don't want you to feel
the way that you made me feel
when you broke my heart.

They told me you were crying
you've never cried before.
She broke your heart
and you know how I felt
when you broke mine.

I'm sorry you got hurt
relationships like that never work.
She broke your heart
and I don't want you to feel the way I did
when you broke mine.

She broke your heart.
I'm sorry that
she broke your heart
and I'm sorry that you feel the same pain I did
when you broke mine
when you broke me
when you broke my heart.

Don't let your mind wander, it's much to small to be out by itself.

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

1 posted 2002-01-27 06:21 PM

I really enjoyed the read Allysa, I wasn't quite sure what you were trying to say if... the first time I read it, I kind of felt that it had mocking tones of revenge but the second time I though it sounded quite sincere, anyway great read

Zu

I wish I was a pigeon so that I could fly across the world

Jenabou
Member

since 2000-06-13

Posts 215
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/USA

2 posted 2002-01-27 07:35 PM

This one REALLY hit home. I know this story all too well. And I know at first you feel,or at least want to feel happy that he has to suffer just like he made you but it always turns out that you know how deep the pain cuts and you wish no one had to feel that way. Take care this was a great write

*for someone who's used to heartache,losing it all was just a matter of time*
Be kind,for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

3 posted 2002-01-27 08:28 PM

This one really hit home for me too...i remember this situation like it was yesterday..its hard and your not quite shur that your feeling the way you should be..great poem allysa

yOu GeT wAt u PaId 4 bUt i JuS hAd nO..iNtEnTion oF liVin tHis waY --Counting crows

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

4 posted 2002-01-28 12:16 PM

Wow, I really liked how raw and to-the point this was.
I felt every line.

Nice one.

Jenn

"You are the strength, that keeps me walking- you are the hope that keeps me trusting."

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

5 posted 2002-01-28 02:50 AM

wow such emmotion here i hope you are ok! guys are not worth crying over you'll find a better guy
robin

i have a wish but only a certain guy can fufill it!

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

6 posted 2002-01-28 06:22 PM

Thanks everyone, for replying and for the support I feel here. I love you all.

Don't let your mind wander, it's much to small to be out by itself.

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

7 posted 2002-01-28 09:01 PM

I liked this, it was really good. nice job.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

[This message has been edited by LoneWolf (01-28-2002 09:01 PM).]

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

8 posted 2002-01-31 10:24 AM

I think everyone can relate to this. This reminds of the the song "I Learned From the Best". Check that out when you can

Very well done... you obviously put a lot of yourself into this piece, and the emotions are strong. I hope everything works out for the best.

--Marie

I wish your fingers could touch all I can't say... no one should ever feel this alone.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

9 posted 2002-02-04 09:52 AM

one thing Allysa, the repetition kinda got a little redundant.
Over all though, you did express yourself really well
I just thought that you already made your point halfway thru the poem
Hope you don't take this once criticizm in a bad way
just a suggestion ya know

thanks for sharing
keep em coming

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

10 posted 2002-02-04 06:29 PM

Acire, I don't take your critsism in a bad way, you're like my big brother or something, always looking out for me. This was just sort of a rant, sort of what the voices in my head have been debating over. It's kind of like what happens when my brain debates with my heart... Anyway, I had the most WONDERFUL saturday ever....

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

11 posted 2002-02-05 10:00 AM

then spill about Saturday

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

12 posted 2002-03-07 04:25 PM

Saturday was a JA dance for all the freshman at my school.
I danced with Mike. It was SOOOOO much fun and I can't wait to do it again.

Don't let your mind wander, it's much to small to be out by itself.

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