Crooked Halos IV - Just Let Me Sleep

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Kosetsu
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 450
Alabama, USA

0 posted 2002-01-22 09:55 PM

In the dark she wanders towards
The bathroom of her house,
Fingers towards the cupboard reach,
Quiet as a mouse.

With a painful screaming creek,
She opens up the door,
Helpless eyes of emerald flick
Towards her father’s snore.

In a trembling hand she takes
A bottle painted blue,
She shakes out a couple pills,
Shakes out a precious few.

With a click, the hallway light
Flickers to a glow,
She quickly takes the tiny pills,
She can’t let him know.

She hurries back into her room
Before her father spies
The tears that stain her pretty cheeks,
Or the cuts upon her thighs.

In her bed she softly curls
Into a little ball,
Clenches her eyes tightly closed,
Ignores the rising squall.

With a shaking, sorrowed sigh,
She whispers to the night,
"Stop the pain, please stop the pain,
Just let me sleep tonight."

"If life is so significant, then why do we die?"

Voiceless
Senior Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind

1 posted 2002-01-22 10:24 PM

Oh my god!
I love it, it is so powerful.
With a message that just gets to you.
The flow and the emotions expressed
are great!
Oh I love it!

Freedom is not Free (Korean War memorial)

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

2 posted 2002-01-22 11:23 PM

Your words are strong and powerful...amazing job here!! PLEASE KEEP EM COMING!

yOu GeT wAt u PaId 4 bUt i JuS hAd nO..iNtEnTion oF liVin tHis waY --Counting crows

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2002-01-23 10:57 PM

Wow.. this is going straight to the library.

Your series has so much emotion... it's all so painfully beautiful. And I almost wish I couldn't connect with what you're saying.

Wonderful work. Simply fantastic.

--Marie

I wish your fingers could touch all I can't say... no one should ever feel this alone.

Kosetsu
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 450
Alabama, USA

4 posted 2002-01-23 11:03 PM

Heh...I'm beginning to enjoy writing in this descriptive poetic-storytelling style. I'm not sure how long this series will end up being, but I'll probably keep em coming until I either run out of ideas, or I find some other fascination to capture my attention.

Thanks for all the supportive comments.

-Adam

"If life is so significant, then why do we die?"

[This message has been edited by Kosetsu (01-23-2002 11:42 PM).]

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

5 posted 2002-01-24 06:48 PM

*Jaw drops* you're going to make me CRY!!!!! =( deja vu..well not the cuts upon her thighs part but that was ummm..ok n/m..have you been reading my mind lately? so eerie..very eerie...

Kristen

Kosetsu
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 450
Alabama, USA

6 posted 2002-01-24 08:56 PM

aww...I'm sorry Kristen. E-mail me about it, k?

-Adam
*glances at the fifth in the series a few pages back and scowls at the lack of replies* Go read dat one peoples!!! It's not THAT bad...at least I dun think so.

"If life is so significant, then why do we die?"

[This message has been edited by Kosetsu (01-24-2002 08:57 PM).]

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

7 posted 2002-01-24 09:12 PM

Hmm... I've been gone to long again... I missed the first parts of this series, 'tis a shame because it is very good. I always think your work is great, keep it up. By the way, this is a great format for you it seems, stick with it and see where it goes.
See YA.

-Rich

[This message has been edited by HopelessRomanticGuy (01-24-2002 09:13 PM).]

Kosetsu
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 450
Alabama, USA

8 posted 2002-01-24 09:22 PM

Go back a few pages. They should still be there.....the first one is simply titled Crooked Halos. No number or subtitle. The second one I chose not to post due to content reasons. The other ones should still be there.

-Adam

"If life is so significant, then why do we die?"

AngelPoet87
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 280
Indy

9 posted 2002-01-26 06:54 PM

This one hit home.. the girl is like a mixture of two people I know... really good job on this.. as always.. now I'm sad.. grr.. but gravy.. kay
Ali

Liefhe alle ten spijte van duivel... A tes souhaits... A tes amours... Qu ils restent. J'ai t'adore. Je t'aime.

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

10 posted 2002-02-01 08:15 AM

..wooOOoOOooo!....im liking your story telling as much as YOU are adamz!...off to the next one!

eyes...........feeel...D
rooop
Y
..zzzzz...

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

11 posted 2002-02-02 01:50 PM

I don't know why I am so drawn to your poetry, I end up in tears every time I read them, but i guess it just brings back memories. Keep them coming....but try to but in some kind of emotional triumph...for the sake of your readers!

LCBS

I was drowning in my own tears, until you threw me a life preserver

Android 17

Senior Member

since 2001-07-21

Posts 664
Winnipeg

12 posted 2002-02-05 11:55 AM

Dude, I'm sorry for going AWOL at the prime of 'Crooked Halos'. I feel bad almost for missing alot of'em. I'm going to look back and read them all! I'm really enjoying this...*sigh* I'm bad...I deserve like 100 lashings!

Whatever I'll say about this poem has already been said. But it's true...powerful imagery and storytelling skills are shown in your work. Great...keep it up! Someday, you'll be a star!

Others are too in love with the sound of their own voice to speak the truth...

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