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Passions in Poetry

Pieces of Me

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DancinQueen
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Kokomo,IN,USA


0 posted 01-22-2002 01:29 AM       View Profile for DancinQueen   Email DancinQueen   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for DancinQueen

\/\Pieces of Me/\/

Touch my eyes as I kiss your soul
unwrap my fragmented pieces
Hold my hand underneath the stars
and whisper sweet nothings in my ear

Hopelessly surrounded by you
in dreams I fall into your arms
Swept away on summers breeze
losing my breath against your skin

Midnight's broken promises
put to rest by heaven's tears
Consuming all that I have left
until I can feel no more

Pieces of me that mold your hands
clenched tightly among your thoughts
gasping for just one final breath
foerever remain shattered and torn


***I tried something new. I just wrote the first thing that came to mind instead of re-thinking every word i wrote..and this is what came out.

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

© Copyright 2002 Kiley - All Rights Reserved
TopGunLauren
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since 08-02-2000
Posts 860
California


1 posted 01-22-2002 01:40 AM       View Profile for TopGunLauren   Email TopGunLauren   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit TopGunLauren's Home Page   View IP for TopGunLauren

Wow.. I realy like this and I think sometimes its better to not re think every word that first comes to your mind.But anyway awsome piece like always and I can't wait to read more.
  Lauren

"I just needed someone to talk to you were just to busy with yourself."-Staind

"You've got to get yourself together you got stuck in a moment and y

anonymousfemale
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 6304
Limbo


2 posted 01-22-2002 04:41 AM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

The non-thinking style suits you. It worked well with the piece. It's very nicely written Kiley so be happy with it.

Well done. BTW, you look gorgeous in that picture.

~AF~

If this is all the world has to offer, I want a refund on my life.

Acies
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Twilight Zone


3 posted 01-22-2002 10:23 AM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

This is probably my favorite of all your pieces sweets
Maybe you should stay with this style
I just love it, shows a lot of improvement in your part
keep it up and keep keep em coming

ps. I ditto Lizzy  
there's just something about that pic that bothers me though
i believe you already know why


l o est mon amour?
donde est mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.

[This message has been edited by acire (01-22-2002 10:24 AM).]

Dark Enchantress
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since 07-27-99
Posts 1460
meet Morgana


4 posted 01-22-2002 12:27 PM       View Profile for Dark Enchantress   Email Dark Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dark Enchantress's Home Page   View IP for Dark Enchantress

To write this well without re-thinking everything definitely shows much talent on your part. It's also good that you know how to listen and trust your own soul to flow out onto the page. Thank you for posting this. It was a pleasure.

Jaime



-- the calm before the storm --

jaimespoetry.blogspot.com

DancinQueen
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Kokomo,IN,USA


5 posted 01-22-2002 10:24 PM       View Profile for DancinQueen   Email DancinQueen   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for DancinQueen

thanks i was hesitant about it..

and acire-- braces suck

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

Acies
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6 posted 01-23-2002 10:28 AM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

It's not the braces

l o est mon amour?
donde est mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.

DancinQueen
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7 posted 01-23-2002 03:00 PM       View Profile for DancinQueen   Email DancinQueen   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for DancinQueen

then what is it...bc anything else will be rude

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

Acies
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8 posted 01-23-2002 04:56 PM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

i'll tell ya again when i talk to you
whenever that may be

l o est mon amour?
donde est mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.

Irish Rose
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since 04-06-2000
Posts 10553


9 posted 01-23-2002 06:10 PM       View Profile for Irish Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irish Rose

This is lovely, the way you brought the fragmented pieces together
made for a wonderful metaphor.

Kathleen--(Kay)
A true friend does not love you for who you are, but in spite of who you are." -- Caroline Tran

xShUgArHiGhx
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since 09-26-2000
Posts 3830
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs


10 posted 01-24-2002 04:54 PM       View Profile for xShUgArHiGhx   Email xShUgArHiGhx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit xShUgArHiGhx's Home Page   View IP for xShUgArHiGhx

I would say this was a pretty good technique hun!! i REALLY enjoyed this a lot!! Thanks for sharing and try this more often Ya never know what will come out..

yOu GeT wAt u PaId 4 bUt i JuS hAd nO..iNtEnTion oF liVin tHis waY --Counting crows

Shygirl82
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since 02-19-2001
Posts 267
Ilinois


11 posted 01-24-2002 11:06 PM       View Profile for Shygirl82   Email Shygirl82   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Shygirl82

I really liked this one.  You could almost tell that this was just coming straight from your mind to the paper.  Thanks for sharing.
~Nikki~

Smile!!  You never know who may be falling in love with it...

HiddenSparklez
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since 12-29-2000
Posts 191
British Columbia, Canada


12 posted 01-25-2002 03:02 AM       View Profile for HiddenSparklez   Email HiddenSparklez   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for HiddenSparklez

First off, great read. Secondly, it all flowed just like a dream... well it did for me. Again, good job!

"You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear

banburycross
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since 03-27-2001
Posts 1087
viginia


13 posted 01-25-2002 12:58 PM       View Profile for banburycross   Email banburycross   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for banburycross

if this is what you get when you just write what comes into your mind it must be wonderful to be inside your head.  beautiful writing, i really enjoyed this piece.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

chasing rain
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since 05-15-2001
Posts 1281
Canada


14 posted 01-25-2002 11:48 PM       View Profile for chasing rain   Email chasing rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for chasing rain

Aww...this was really nice. Sometimes, when you rethink each word over and over again, it sounds messier and messier...well, that's what happens to me, but oh well...o_O;
I thought it was really clean and easy to read because of it. Metaphorically, it was beautiful. Thanks for the read! ^_^

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

Fading Away
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15 posted 01-27-2002 09:52 PM       View Profile for Fading Away   Email Fading Away   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Fading Away

This was beautiful.  You should write more poems without thinking

Very well done, Kiley... post more... soon?  

--Marie

I wish your fingers could touch all I can't say... no one should ever feel this alone.

Jenn Cirrincione
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Fl


16 posted 01-28-2002 12:14 AM       View Profile for Jenn Cirrincione   Email Jenn Cirrincione   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jenn Cirrincione

I agree with everyone else. I liked the way you did this. I love that non-thinking just posting thing...sometimes it works soooo well.

You proved it

Jenn

"You are the strength, that keeps me walking- you are the hope that keeps me trusting."

punkrockerrobin
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17 posted 01-28-2002 02:51 AM       View Profile for punkrockerrobin   Email punkrockerrobin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit punkrockerrobin's Home Page   View IP for punkrockerrobin

great job! i enjoyed this one! tks for sharing.
robin

i have a wish but only a certain guy can fufill it!

LoneWolf
Member
since 03-10-2001
Posts 407
IL


18 posted 01-28-2002 08:55 PM       View Profile for LoneWolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoneWolf

Wow that was awesome, i loved. Great job on this.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

knightlyshadows
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since 04-14-2001
Posts 950
obscured vision


19 posted 01-29-2002 02:42 AM       View Profile for knightlyshadows   Email knightlyshadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for knightlyshadows

braces? what braces? *squints @ the pic but doesnt see any*

kiley, this is one of my fav pieces from you.. it had the normal greatness to it because youre a great writer and one of my favs from pip.. but this one just had a differnt feel to it. its nice seeing a glimpse of your soul and all the honesty that we get in this write without all the re-hashing that so many of us do to make things perfect. sometimes things are better without all the touch-ups. jmo
tiff

A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.

I know Im not perfect but I can smile
& I hope that you c this heart behind my tired eyes

DancinQueen
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since 07-29-2000
Posts 1663
Kokomo,IN,USA


20 posted 01-30-2002 01:04 PM       View Profile for DancinQueen   Email DancinQueen   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for DancinQueen

aww thank you everyone

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

anonymous albert ?
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21 posted 02-07-2002 01:05 AM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

Free-writing worked wonderfully...I liked how you expressed yourself in this one, Kiley,

"Hold my hand underneath the stars
and whisper sweet nothings in my ear" Simply beautiful imagery in all. ^_^

"Dont piss me off. Im runing out of places to hide the bodies."

Melster
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since 12-09-2000
Posts 443
Brisbane, Qld, Australia


22 posted 02-11-2002 10:27 PM       View Profile for Melster   Email Melster   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Melster's Home Page   View IP for Melster

one of your best I have read so far, keep it up

MelZ!!

You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already...

DawnG
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23 posted 02-11-2002 11:00 PM       View Profile for DawnG   Email DawnG   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for DawnG

I liked this a lot.

                         Dawn
Acies
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Twilight Zone


24 posted 02-12-2002 09:32 AM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

This one keeps coming back up

l o est mon amour?
donde est mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.

DancinQueen will be notified of replies
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