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Teen Poetry #5
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Darkness
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Darkness |
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DragonFang Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522Missouri, USA |
All around Darkness surround All I see Darknnes around me A way escape This place that I hate A ray of light In eternal night Shining clear From a broken mirror Confusing more A way to a door http://www.heisen.net Peace Through War, it is beginning! |
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| © Copyright 2002 Samson C. Justice - All Rights Reserved | |||
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
Sam... baby this is sad... and is going to make me sad too... NO writing depressing poetry, only I can do that :P cheer up pwease, for me? i love you... |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
Wow... this sounds really sad! I hope everything will work out fine for you.  _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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TigerZ Member
since 2002-01-02
Posts 83Ontario, Canada |
Woh...lots of emotion coming through. I hope things get better. Nice poem though A life without love…is no life at all. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This ones got a ton of emotion...::hugs:: yOu GeT wAt u PaId 4 bUt i JuS hAd nO..iNtEnTion oF liVin tHis waY --Counting crows |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is pretty good. I really liked the rhyme scheme, it made the short lines read very easily. The ending, however, seemed kind of abrupt to me. The end seemed to come prematurely. Maybe you could add on a little? I would be interested in the product of that I enjoyed this! I look forward to seeing more, hopefully soon --Marie 'Things are getting worse but I feel a lot better... and that's all that really matters to me.' |
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