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Missthang
Member
since 2001-07-03
Posts 103


0 posted 2002-01-12 11:04 PM


A few strokes of a brush
then everything's in it's place.
A shadow in a crowd
then emerges a face.
A lost idea has now been found.
What once was a beautiful noise
doesn't seem like the same sound.
A feeling in my heart
no money can take away.
My confession to you
I'm not everything you say.
I'm not giving my all
I know I can to you.
And believe it or not
there is a part 2.

That beautiful painting
is turned upside down.
Or right side up
either way I begin to frown.
That beautiful face
then takes off its mask.
Not what I saw before,
why might I ask.
Because a lost idea
has now been found.
What once was a beautiful noise
doesn't seem like the same sound.
A feeling in my heart
no money can take away.
My question for you
are you everything I say?
Are you giving your all
I know you can do?
My confession-question
from me to you.

*Tell me what you think I'm trying to say in this one. I won't give my normal "background story", I'm curious to see what you all think. Thanks.*


"Whatever you are doing, love yourslef for doing it.
Whatever you are feeling, love yourself for feeling it."
       -Thaddeus Golas


[This message has been edited by Missthang (01-12-2002 11:35 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Adamma Bankhead - All Rights Reserved
xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
1 posted 2002-01-13 01:01 AM


WOW....awesome poem and cool format...i think that ur trying to say that things can be seen in many different lights and that they're not always what they appear to be....but thats just my interpretation! I thought this poem was great!

yOu GeT wAt u PaId 4 bUt i JuS hAd nO..iNtEnTion oF liVin tHis waY --Counting crows

just_me
Junior Member
since 2001-10-24
Posts 19

2 posted 2002-01-13 01:05 AM


trust me babe... you are all that you say you are... nothing wil lever change that in my mind! YOU ARE THE SHIZNIT!!! Love ya!
Mon Cherie
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Senior Member
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers
3 posted 2002-01-13 01:03 PM


Great write!

Let's see... What are you trying to say?

Right side up or upside down, it's still the same picture, just that it is from a different perspective. You've found someone to keep in your heart, but you're still unsure. When you think you've given your all, it might not seem as so from the other person's perspective, vice versa.

Is that it?

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

Missthang
Member
since 2001-07-03
Posts 103

4 posted 2002-01-13 04:18 PM


ok fellow writers, this is what i was saying. all of you weren't that far off. i'm saying that friendship can be a very strange thing. and latley i've been asking myself "am i a good friend"? could i give more than what i'm giving? and at the same time (part 2) there are very few people in my life that i consider my friendship with them flawless. and yet taking a deeper look, it's not flawless. nothing is perfect even though it may appear that way. i've been looking at the painting upside down and i've been viewing that face with it's mask on. and now reality is finally comming through. the paining is turned upside down (which in all atuality is right side up), and the mask is taken off and it's a whole new face. not saying that this is a bad thing, but it is a realization.
*Thanks to all who read*


"Whatever you are doing, love yourslef for doing it.
Whatever you are feeling, love yourself for feeling it."
       -Thaddeus Golas

[This message has been edited by Missthang (01-13-2002 04:21 PM).]

Melster
Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia
5 posted 2002-01-13 10:56 PM


Great Post, I was headed in the right direction too!!!

Looking forward to more!!

MelZ!!!

You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already...

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
6 posted 2002-01-15 01:57 PM


I really enjoyed this... you had a lot of momentum going at the beginning of the poem... lots of really good things happening, but I think the second stanza was a little confusing with the wording.  Maybe you could look over that again...

On the other hand, I love the metaphor with the painting.  Very creative.

Nicely done.. enjoyed

--Marie

'Things are getting worse but I feel a lot better... and that's all that really matters to me.'

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