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CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

0 posted 2002-01-04 06:13 PM

This is one that I wrote in English class today when I had some extra time. Not too much to say about it, let me know what ya think.

THE RIDE
The ride begins
Slowly Rising
Toward the top
A sudden downfall
Starts off fun
Then gets scary
Another rise
I see ahead
Going back up
Joyful anticipation
Yet pain
It levels off
I calm down
Suddenly
The final drop
My entire life
On its way down
Now I'm stuck
At the bottom
Until I'm able
To live again

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

gymnast
Member

since 2001-11-18

Posts 80
Scotland.

1 posted 2002-01-04 06:18 PM

I loved this poem! It totally made me feel as though I was on the ride! BRILL!! Keep it up!!!!

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

2 posted 2002-01-04 06:32 PM

wow cody a great poem by an awesome guy! you will get over it it's ok life goes on!
robin

love me and rhonda for ti loves us!

Android 17

Senior Member

since 2001-07-21

Posts 664
Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-01-04 07:29 PM

Heh-hehe! I liked this one! It had a strange sort of anticipation---I woulda liked this one to be longer though...-_- Hmmm...

The trick is to know when to walk away---and TO KNOW WHEN TO RUN!!!

HiddenSparklez
Member

since 2000-12-29

Posts 190
British Columbia, Canada

4 posted 2002-01-04 08:59 PM

Great description about being up & down... I can relate to that so easily. Try writing more descriptive poems and see what happens!

"You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2002-01-05 10:25 PM

That was a kick-arse analogy, Cody!
Awesome work... I loved the short lines. They work with the intensity of the poem, and seems to symbolize the rapid heart beat of the speaker... as if the roller coaster of life is literally taking his breath away.
I loved this. It's great to see you posting again. I definitely look forward to seeing more.
Well done

--Marie

"It was a long December, but there's reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last." (Counting Crows)

[This message has been edited by Fading Away (01-05-2002 10:25 PM).]

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

6 posted 2002-01-05 10:53 PM

Hey, my hot football player!

"Now I'm stuck
At the bottom
Until I'm able
To live again"

Love it! Just great! Just... great!

You know you're Canadian when if something's broken, the first thing you ask is if it can be fixed with WD-40 or Duct Tape

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

7 posted 2002-01-07 10:50 PM

Phew..it reminded me of a roller coaster i went on at Great Escape!! I enjoyed it a lot!! Good poem hun!

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

BrokenAngel
Member

since 2002-01-06

Posts 141
Puryear, TN, USA

8 posted 2002-01-08 07:39 PM

Wonderful poem!!! I love the way you describe life as I took it. Keep it up!!

---Night Angel

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