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Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

0 posted 2001-12-29 01:20 PM

Her heart has humbled
Perhaps even her soul
Yet she's lost all direction
Not knowing where to go
Teetering between the life she calls her own
Yet hears the disconnection tone
On the other end of her mind's phone
Her spirit used to dance and be free
Now it sits waiting patiently
Letting iselff be wrapped within the insanity
She lies awake at night
Trying to pretend that it's alright
To want for everything to go away
And for someone to save her from the dark tower
She mostly finds herself in
Drowning within her sins
She never was like this before
But when that taste of freedom
Came knocking upon her door
Tempted her with images and endless kisses
That only put her soul into ruin
Now she just starves her soul
And runs away, into the night
Running through the labryinthe
She calls her life....

Voiceless
Senior Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind

1 posted 2001-12-29 03:19 PM

This is so neat,
it makes you think and
take into presepective
everything that is being expressed.

Very nice!

Freedom is not Free (Korean War memorial)

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

2 posted 2001-12-29 09:35 PM

Yet hears the disconnection tone
On the other end of her mind's phone

The lines in this piece are incredibly touching and will undoubtably hit close to home for many of the readers. It hit extremely close to home for me. I like the way you skip around with the rhyme scheme in this. it marks the instability of the piece and the mind.

Wonderful piece of writing and I do feel for you. Remember that nothing stays the same forever and while now the phone may be disconnected, someone picks up eventually.

Take care and thanks for sharing.

~AF~

If this is all the world has to offer, I want a refund on my life.

mistic
Member

since 2001-05-06

Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.

3 posted 2001-12-29 10:51 PM

This sounds really familiar... sounds about like my life right now. I really enjoyed this.. you caputed the emotion well

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

4 posted 2001-12-29 11:34 PM

I definitely liked this poem, I think the way you express certain parts of it are excellent. Good writing

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

5 posted 2001-12-30 12:34 PM

I think this poem is great! Parts of it hit real close to home. Ask in a week, and this will be me. After the numbness passes, the depression always comes. Anyway, I love this poem, something about the emotions that come off of it. Good work!

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

6 posted 2001-12-30 12:35 PM

this is probably my #1 fav poem i've ever read of yours...i absolutely loved it. It reminded me a lot of myself when i was in the midst of my worse times of depression...great read...it too made me think a lot

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

7 posted 2001-12-30 02:08 AM

Yeah this poem also realates to my life perfectly.But anyway I like it keep up the great work.
Lauren

"I just needed someone to talk to you were just to busy with yourself."-Staind

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

8 posted 2001-12-30 11:27 AM

*Adds to library*

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.

prov1717
Member

since 2001-12-26

Posts 74
NE

9 posted 2001-12-30 04:28 PM

you expressed yourelf so well here, i know what you mean, life gets a little nuts sometimes. nice job.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

10 posted 2002-01-03 11:15 AM

"Not knowing where to go
Teetering between the life she calls her own"

Those lines especially hit hard.  I'm sure many can connect to the words of this poem.  If this is about your connection to life, then hang in there.  It sounds like you're going through trying times.  I'm sorry for that, and I hope things start to look up soon.  *hugs*

This is a well-written poem.  YOu expressed some heavy emotions, and did it well.  Nice work.  I enjoyed this, as always.

It's been a while since I've read your work.  Welcome back... I hope you post again soon

--Marie

"It was a long December, and there's reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last." (Counting Crows)

[This message has been edited by Fading Away (01-03-2002 11:17 AM).]

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

11 posted 2002-01-18 10:28 AM

Kris --- I'm glad to see more poems from you lately
But the tone hasn't changed for they are all still sad
I just hope to see happy poems from you in the future
That will only mean one thing

thanks for sharing

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.

TigerZ
Member

since 2002-01-02

Posts 83
Ontario, Canada

12 posted 2002-01-18 08:01 PM

Excellent poem with very powerful lines. I loved it

A life without love…is no life at all.

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

13 posted 2002-01-19 05:27 PM

Beautiful!

Wonderfully done!

I can't say much more, other then I'm here to lend a listening ear. Talk with you soon, my friend.

Sincerely,
Titus

Smile, Jesus loves you. :)

china doll
Junior Member

since 2002-01-20

Posts 22

14 posted 2002-01-20 12:49 PM

Love your metaphors!This was a deep and descriptive piece...I can feel it as I read.Hope to hear more:}

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

15 posted 2002-01-20 06:44 PM

Aww muchas gracias..I'm glad I did get on and check some stuff out..I've just been feeling funky lately..and yeah unfortunately I'm feeling the adjectives and all right now...and acire..I don't think that will happen anytime soon..but I have some "happy" poems up my sleeve but they're always about love..blech

Kosetsu
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 450
Alabama, USA

16 posted 2002-01-20 09:23 PM

I'm really starting to like your poems Kristen. I guess because they're my kind of poetry....dark, sad....the imagery you used in this one was superb. Thanks for another good read.

-Adam

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

17 posted 2002-01-20 11:46 PM

greatness...just pure greatness. damn i luved this one. thanks for sharing this!
-bergundy-

maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio-

mistic
Member

since 2001-05-06

Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.

18 posted 2002-01-21 01:04 PM

reading it for the second time and I like it even more.

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