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mistic
Member

since 2001-05-06

Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.

0 posted 2001-12-27 09:18 PM

From the pits of despair
I look out my pitiful excuse of a window
And see the shadowed moon glaring back at me
Through narred branches and falling snow
Taunting me with it's freedom.
Then again, perhaps it's the sun
It's only 5:30pm afterall
I don't which way I'm facing anymore
Doesn't matter... my mind is too messed up to care.
Dark shadows fill my sight
Growing larger with every step that's taken.
Take the mirror I'm about to shatter..
It shows the truth more often than I like,
It echos every tear, every scream... every thought.
Hollow smiles, empty moments, false hopes,
Masks of every expression,
And cold beds of lies
Make of everything I do now.
The moon's disappeared now
Along with it's mocking glow
But here I'll remain... with these shackles
And lead ball dragging close behind,
Chained to the darkness of my mind.

mistic
Member

since 2001-05-06

Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.

1 posted 2001-12-27 11:47 PM

yeah i know it doesn't make sense and it's really dark and depressing.. but that's just the mood i've been in lately...

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

2 posted 2001-12-28 12:12 PM

Very expressive and you wrote this wonderfully...nice job!! I liked it a lot

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

3 posted 2001-12-28 02:47 AM

i liked this poem a lot! great work!
robin

repeat after me: punk is the best music ever created!

Domzi
Member

since 2001-09-08

Posts 288
New York (BK)

4 posted 2001-12-28 03:26 AM

Great expression in this poem!

Poetry is spiritual ventilation!

Voiceless
Senior Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind

5 posted 2001-12-28 11:00 PM

The imagery is awesome
so it paints a great picute
some may call it dark
and depressing, but I like it!

Freedom is not Free (Korean War memorial)

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

6 posted 2001-12-29 12:49 PM

As was said, the images portrayed here are amazing..
"Through narred branches and falling snow
Taunting me with it's freedom."
I love those lines ^^ Very nice work, mistic. It's been awhile since I've seen you around here. I hope I see you more soon. (:
Nicely done.

--Marie

"It's been a long December, and there's reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last." (Counting Crows)

C?
Member

since 2001-12-29

Posts 190

7 posted 2001-12-29 01:41 AM

besides being kinda long and wordy, its got great emotional imagery!! thats my opinion at least!! nice job,

Android 17

Senior Member

since 2001-07-21

Posts 664
Winnipeg

8 posted 2001-12-29 02:24 AM

Hmmm...this poem is well done! I really like art---especially well done, dark peices such as yours. There is no light without a dark, am I right?

The trick is to know when to walk away---and TO KNOW WHEN TO RUN!!!

prov1717
Member

since 2001-12-26

Posts 74
NE

9 posted 2001-12-30 04:33 PM

"Take the mirror I'm about to shatter..
It shows the truth more often than I like,
It echos every tear, every scream... every thought."
i like it...like it a lot!!!

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