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Teen Poetry #5
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Kosetsu
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450
Alabama, USA

0 posted 2002-06-23 01:41 AM



Bloody tears, bled fervently,
Leave streaks upon her face;
Crimson stains so softly sweet,
Are naught but a disgrace,

A twisted fit of memories
Best left in the dust,
Placed beside the steel blue eyes
Left there to rot and rust.

Fingers play upon the ice,
Leaving little bleeding scars;
Tiny cries of anguish
Scream up at the stars

And try to beckon sympathy
From the heavens up above.
She withdraws from the world
And all the things it falls short of.

Bloody tears, bled fervently,
Leave droplets on her lips,
Worthless things, just cast aside
To land on bloodied fingertips.

---------
A much better attempt than the other poem I posted tonight. Don't ask what inspired it...it just came to me.

-Adam
© Copyright 2002 Adam Kamerer - All Rights Reserved
fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
1 posted 2002-06-23 05:49 AM


hey,
just sorta looking thru pip and i came across this. i liked it, you're quite good at rhyming lol.  that's not an insult, i just suck pretty badly at it that i admire it when someone can actually rhyme. i know not all poetry has to rhyme...blah blah, but i still wish i could write some. anyway...cool poem. i loved the lines
"Tiny cries of anguish
Scream up at the stars"
great stuff.  bye bye.
-bergundy

maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio-

cutiepiesugarbabie
Member
since 2002-06-07
Posts 110
A Cloud In the Sky
2 posted 2002-06-23 02:44 PM


powerful poem
songsoftheaftermath
Member
since 2002-06-19
Posts 84
a world of disarray
3 posted 2002-06-26 04:15 AM


its nice adamz...but have you considered moving away from all this morbidity? like kinda write about something thats more personal to YOU? im interested in reading something about yourself rather then what you think about other situations in the world.

sure i like stories...but personal poems are wonderful every now and again...so try it buddy...please for cheri

this poem was nice and dark...by all means keep posting these ones up...but more ones on you...if you dont mind.

could the darkness be my friend?

Jessica
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350
South AL
4 posted 2002-06-30 03:05 AM


Adam-
  I know I didn't inspire this but I feel as if you wrote it about me b/c I relate to it so much.  You have a true talent with words, bud. I don't want to see you quit.

Love Ya  *hugs*

~Jess

punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
5 posted 2002-06-30 06:28 AM


MY ADAM!!!!!!! *huggles* hey hun great work! i love how you put things together. well i'll talk to ya on yahoo.
love ya!
robin

http://cgi6.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewSellersOtherItems&userid=hardcorerobin&include=0&since=-1&sort=3&rows=25

Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
6 posted 2002-07-01 01:01 AM


Oh. My. God. I am speechless. Wow... what imagery!!!

(PS> your ideas are still coming in the mail, I promise)

sillywilly
Junior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 33
oklahoma
7 posted 2002-07-09 01:07 PM


Pretty powerful. it makes me wanna hurt with you, the poem, the world
Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
8 posted 2002-07-10 12:24 PM


*grins* Just had to read it again.
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