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Teen Poetry #5
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Mortality
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Mortality |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Enflamed Her spell, forgotten Upon a chair, her shadow still sits Silent dread upon her lashes. A percepted figure emerges From the open window Hidden by interstellar light... Hushed by a misplaced dream. "Ashes to ashes, Dust to dust" She has become. + + + + + Aight. I'm bad. I'm not supposed to write anything...but I am. So bah. o_O Just a Merry Christmas poem (although morbib, I do admit. hee) ^_^ Many thanks to [Ice Box] for the help! ++ Leah ++ Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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| © Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
quite the deep poem...very different from your previous pieces; in meaning and writing persceptive. ^_^ i liked it VERY much since its thought-provoking and leaves the reader thinking after reading it. enjoyed fully and think you should post more for the new years and one month from last post and first poem for...*stops* ^^: Hey...#25437 |
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AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
I like this, though it doesn't come close to comparing to some of your other pieces. But still, quite the deep and, as you said, morbid poem. Good write as always  Liefhe alle ten spijte van duivel... A tes souhaits... A tes amours... Qu ils restent. J'ai t'adore. Je t'aime. |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
When it comes to poetry, I almost think I prefer the morbid stuff over the happy type because you can put so much more emotion and feeling into something that is morbid. That being said, I think you did a wonderful job on this piece.  ~*Nikki*~ *~Fighting for your love~* |
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[Ice Box] Junior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 21Canada |
Leah So, you finally took my advice. NEVER KEEP YOUR PENCIL TO YOURSELF!!! Hehe. *Jingle* This is such a beautiful piece. You explained to me earlier (briefly) about it, but you know how my memory works...it sucks when I'm sleepy. *yawns* You said something about parallels of fire. Reading too much Frankenstein again, I presume. PUT THAT BOOK DOWN! I know you hate it. *winks* I perceive a person who has passed on to another life. Her "spell", being her presence when she was alive and within other people's lives. Her "shadow" is a memory of her, something that still somewhat lives after her phyisical body has decayed and rotted and become all moldy and...*Getting carried away again* The "silent dread", I believe, is the fear of...what? The "percepted figure" is...God? An angel? So many possibilities...opens so many new doors, or should I say, windows? *Evil laugh* ["Ashes to ashes, Dust to dust" She has become.] Okee, this pretty much tells us that...she's dead for good now. LEAH!!! You're so morbid. *Jingle* Okay, I will silence myself and will utter no word after this sentence ends, with an exception of my wonderful signature, and with that, I thank you for another great read, and keep on sharing because that's the only way other people will know what's in that little head of yours and my sentence is getting long...bye! *jingle* [Ice Box] Stone. |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Oooh! I like this one too! ^_^* Surrender now, or prepare to fight! |
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NathanS Member
since 2001-09-27
Posts 106CA |
Hm, this different from what you've written previously. But it is very well done and i liked it very much Btw/ chances are you will never stop writing-So long as people have emotions, words will appear on paper.  Thanks for the read -Dreys |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Hey chicka. I think I got the gist of this piece but having a cloudy head doesn't really help.  It is good to see you didn't run away and leave us forever. The imagery is brilliant and I loved the italics at the couplets. Genius. It seemed to me to make it go silently serious...if that made any sense at all Anyway, thanks for sharing it. I look forward to many more pieces from you around here.  ~AF~ If this is all the world has to offer, I want a refund on my life. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
How you even say you're bad? Are you kidding me? You are the most awesome writer  là où est mon amour? donde está mi amour? wo ist meine Liebe? Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo. [This message has been edited by acire (12-27-2001 10:19 AM).] |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Bad?! Who are you kidding!!! That was great!!! Nice read ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
You're bad, eh? Then why do you keep getting praise after praise for your poems?! As Ice Box said... never keep your pencil to yourself. You have amazing talent. Now, about the poem: "Hidden by interstellar light... Hushed by a misplaced dream." Those were by far my two favorite lines. All of your poetry has a way of seeping into my thought, so that it's all I can think about for hours at a time. That's truly a gift. You work is incredibly thought provoking. Again, in this piece, the last 4 lines were perfectly placed between the dramatic pauses. The flow was incredible throughout, because of the well placed line breaks. All-in-all, this is a very well-written poem. It's far beyond me how you can ever think you're bad. You're incredible. --Marie If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway. |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
i liked this poem a lot! great work! robin repeat after me: punk is the best music ever created! |
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Zukene_Chic Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 152Cali |
Bad? BAH! Never! Morbid, yes, but lovely. Whats so wrong with being morbid? |
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aaron woodside Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 256 |
Amazing, simply amazing. Even though I don't happen to visit that often, you do happen to be one of my favorite authors. Your pieces always make me just stare in awe. Keep it up. ex animo, Aaron There are no great men, only men in great circumstances. |
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