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The Clock.
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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The Clock. |
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Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking 
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The Clock Dim Light From the pale face of TIME Distant memories Of new beginnings D r a g g i ng into history Pale face Motionless hands A dead heart Trapped in a cage Entombed within stone Decaying as Time stands STILL. My first post for quite a while now, sorry I ain't been around much but when I can't write I don't feel upto reading much poetry. Zu "No army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe" |
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| © Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
you seem to have captured the essence of TIME... regards, sudhir P.S. this is the first from you that I have read... will be looking out for more... |
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MindlessPoet Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 106Texas |
wow that's really encouraging me to critique, heh. nice  We all have to face down the demons... |
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Alyssa
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
LOL i like the critique kinda funny. i liked this altho its not one of you rbest i do say. thanks for posting ! Amee ....Handle with care... |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
LOL I agree bout the critique.  Cool Andrew. Anywho, I liked this, as usual you've proved to be quite a creative poet I always look out for interesting, slightly outside the box poems from you, and I wasn't dissapointed with this in the least. Sometimes I hate time tho, it goes so slow when you need to rush thru it...and it never drags when you need it. Nice to see you round again Jenn "I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..." |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Thank you to everyone for replying to my poem. I'm glad you like my critique message . This poem was sort of an experiment for me so i'm glad you lie it. Andrew "No army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe" |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Zu, the usage of HTML in this piece really picked it up. By bolding some words and putting others in italics, it gives a different feel to it rather than a typical standard writing. I found I could apply this to many things and the use of imagery is once again, wonderful. You never cease to amaze me. It's also good to see you posting again. Hope to see more soon. ~AF~ If this is all the world has to offer, I want a refund on my life. |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
I've always seen such interesting posts by you, and this was no exception. You did a nice job with this piece!  ~*Nikki*~ *~Fighting for your love~* |
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Jenabou Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 215Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/USA |
I really liked this it expressed"time" wonderfully and in such a creative way. You've got loads of talent The world is like a mirror; frown at it, and it frowns at you. Smile and it smiles, too |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Thank you for replying AF, Vixen and Jenabou. Your comments were much appreciated "No army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe" |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
love makes the heart run like clockwork?....so why is it standing still? i love this poem. need i say more? the format- the WONDERFUL use of FREEVERSE- the darkness- the sadness( which i just picked up )- the whole look of it. youve really turned this into art andy. youre a wonderful poet. and i dont want an "if" or "but" about that either!  great work- im looking forward to more! MORE y'hear? Cut your hair. short. now. and cry. cuz no one cares. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Welcome back, Zu! "Pale face Motionless hands A dead heart Trapped in a cage Entombed within stone Decaying as Time stands STILL." This reminds me how much I missed your work! Very beautiful words you portray here. I loved the emotions through this piece. The power is amazing. Very nice work, as always! Post again soon, will you? --Marie If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway. |
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prov1717 Member
since 2001-12-26
Posts 74NE |
this is the first piece of yours i've read, i like it! i look forward to reading more! leslie |
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