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Jaded Beauty
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Jaded Beauty |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
He walks by with his off-beat brilliance And I think somewhat bitterly, I used to try to impress him. I suppose I still do. But then again don't I try to impress everyone? Sometimes successful and yet what lies in these hands? Nothing Empty solitude coats my skin and creeps into it's cracks I walk out into the night Christmas lights shine against the black stillness and yet I see an illusion A slap in my face to remind me that I am alone out here and it is so terribly cold I can hear their laughter against my shivers and I wonder where it all has gone My mother convinces everyone that I am simply tired and that's why I roam alone and stay up in an empty room - alone I shouted "I'm not tired!" but still... the laughter continues Oh behold the eyes of the lost The only thing that I fear is to die quietly. jaimespoetry.blogspot.com [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (edited 12-15-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Morgana - All Rights Reserved | |||
Alyssa
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
omigod i love this so much its so me right now this got me i love it [This post has been created by Alyssa, be joyous she has graced you with her pressence!!!] |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
this was.. amazing. it was great. it hit a nerve in me and i dont know what to really say about it. i think you wrote this very well. lots of emotion and *umph* to it. great job! library time.. Tiff  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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corey14 Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 89Boston, Mass, U.S.A. |
this is realy good some times i feal alone and just go off on my own i no how u feal |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i LOVE this one...i absolutly can see this in my eyes of my view. "But then again don't I try to impress everyone? Sometimes successful and yet what lies in these hands? Nothing" well said...some people always try to impress others maybe from their own insecurities? "Empty solitude coats my skin and creeps into it's cracks" VERY dark and obscure...i like how you expressed the coldness of the surrounding and the pain of only finding solitude to keep warm. [i know...wrong, ne?] "that I am simply tired and that's why I roam alone and stay up in an empty room - alone" people around you or sometimes evn part of yoruself trys to find an excuse why you roam and perfe rot stay alone and then contradicting the whole by saying no. im normal. even though partcially it isnt. overall i can relate [esp yesterday]...found it an awesome piece. thanks for sharing, Jamie. Hey...#25437 |
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Voiceless Senior Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 686Under the stars upon the wind |
I know what you mean.. You put it really well you didn't need to try to impress me because you already did. Freedom is not Free (Korean War memorial) |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
VERY nice work! The deliverance of this piece is much like the one I just read. I like the way you break up the stanzas. It reads well. Nicely done! I enjoyed this. --Marie If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Outstanding. You've written with such a sad ferocity that it truly stuns the reader...well it stunned me anyway. This has to go into my library...or the wall. Either way, it's going to be preserved somewhere. The imagery is wonderful and you bring it to life well. I'm in awe of you right now. Well done and thanks for sharing this. ~AF~ If this is all the world has to offer, I want a refund on my life. |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
i liked this poem a lot! great work! robin repeat after me: punk is the best music ever created! |
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Domzi Member
since 2001-09-08
Posts 288New York (BK) |
Wow! This is a deep poem. I can feel the emotion in this one. Enjoyed! Poetry is spiritual ventilation! |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
A very deep and painful piece. I enjoyed it. I am surely getting a thing for your work... Titus |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
I don't know what to say other than it really hit a nerve...Loved your words they echoed within the chambers of my heart.. Kristen [This message has been edited by Ceinwyn (12-29-2001 01:36 PM).] |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
I really enjoyed this poem. You write great pieces. keep on wrtiting. Regina |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Wow, this was a great piece, very powerful. I especially like the 2nd stanza. I look forward to reading more of your work! |
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prov1717 Member
since 2001-12-26
Posts 74NE |
this is a very well written piece. i love the part about trying to impress people and then being left with nothing. isn't that what always happens? all we can do is love ourselves and then people will be impressed by that. i really enjoyed this poem, nice work. |
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