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Teen Poetry #5
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[Ice Box]
Junior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 21
Canada

0 posted 2001-12-14 05:46 PM


Exposure

They played a game of hide and seek
Through forest and through fields
Darting

In and out

Into shades of green
Or golden brown
To hide within.

Silence plays upon their ears
As they wait for footsteps following
Their heavy breathing

In and out.

Time has passed, and curious minds
Take time to peek a little, seek a little
Measuring exposure time.

And turning 'round, their lovely eyes
Meet yet again, never found, but rather
Knowing one was there to catch them if ever one should fall

In and out

Of time.

Slipping back into the frame
The photo lays, untouched, unseen
And time has passed since we played the game...

In our minds.


[Ice Box]

NB: This is more than just a game...what do you see?

Frost.

© Copyright 2001 [Ice Box] - All Rights Reserved
cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
1 posted 2001-12-14 10:18 PM


ooooooh wow! MORE i say!

sorry...i had to say that first what do i see? i see two ppl- maybe old friends, maybe an aged couple, maybe even an adult looking back on a childhood friendship or love. i really love the way you wrote this. i loved the repetition and use of italics and everything! its awesome. i really enjoy your work ( i know ive only read one other poem of yours )im fast becoming a fan!

keep writing and sharing!

       

....but wanting a gold one  


cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
2 posted 2001-12-14 10:21 PM


*click*...forgot to add this  

       

....but wanting a gold one  


Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
3 posted 2001-12-21 02:04 PM


This to me seems to be looking into memories of the past.
It may be wrong, but hey, that's how I saw it
I love the scene you created in this poem
beautiful imagery
thanks for sharing

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.


PoetryIsLife
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Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
4 posted 2001-12-23 04:45 PM


what cherrish said... just let me add on, you are amazing Ice. I'm glad you're a member here.

Titus

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
5 posted 2001-12-25 12:40 PM


Really an amazing poem..got me thinking hard..very hard actually..not quite shur what else it is but a game..i'll have to get back to you...

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

punkrockerrobin
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Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
6 posted 2001-12-25 03:25 AM


i liked this poem a lot! great work!
robin

repeat after me: punk is the best music ever created!

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
7 posted 2001-12-26 12:04 PM




WOW!

This is beautiful... what do I see?  I see two people very much in love.  I absolutely love the style you used here.  The format works perfectly... wowsers.  This is awesome.  I'm adding this to my library.  I would even venture to say this is the one of the best I've read at PIP.  The HTML, and the centering of the poem made it work.  Very nice work... I'm definitely looking forward to more.
Nicely done.

--Marie

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway.

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
8 posted 2001-12-26 12:05 PM


Cherish is rubbing off on me...

I forgot to click the button...

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway.

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