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MindlessPoet
Member

since 2001-04-20

Posts 106
Texas

0 posted 2001-12-13 12:02 PM

I need someone to catch me when I fall,
Be there when I can't take it all.
I need someone to hug me tight,
To hold me close and say 'good night;'
Someone to listen when I scream,
Someone who sees me when they dream.
I need someone to stay with 'till the dawn
To make sure all the tears are gone;
Someone whose love reveals the light
To let me know that it's alright. I need someone to call a friend
Who will stand by me until the end;
A steadfast heart to join with mine,
Someone to share my painful life.

I will catch you when you fall,
Be there when you can't take it all.
I'll be the one to hug you tight,
To hold you close and say 'good night.'
I'll be the one to listen when you scream,
And I will see you when I dream.
I will stay with you 'till the dawn
To make sure all the tears are gone.
I'll be the one you call a friend,
Someone to stand by 'till the end.

But things are never what they seem;
Too bad you're only in my dreams.

------------------

I'm back, again, heh. I had computer problems :P and I guess afterwards sort of forgot about this place. I have to say I like the rad smilies.

For now, all I can do is dream.

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

1 posted 2001-12-13 12:20 PM

Yeah I think most people wish they could have someone like that but I believe one day everyone will find someone like that.But this is a very well written sweet but sad poem I really like it.Keep up the awsome work.
Lauren

"I just needed someone to talk to you were just to busy with yourself."-Staind

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-12-13 09:57 AM

Welcome back

I really liked this.  I think everyone wants this person, but so few truly find someone who they can count on through everything.

I liked the rhyme scheme you had going throughout the piece.  Very constant, and worked well with the meter.  I also like how you ended in couplets.  The change from the first stanza to the second, the frist talking about how you want that person, and the second being how you're that friend to someone else was done well.

I enjoyed this poem, and I look forward to reading more

--Marie

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

3 posted 2001-12-13 08:38 PM

Ahh, we all want one of these people.

Those that actually have them don't realise how lucky they are.
I enjoyed reading this because it's evident you've put some thought into it.
Like Marie, I liked the way you ended it with couplets. In some pieces, it just doesn't suit it but with this one, it worked well.

Thanks for the read. It's good to have you back again. I look forward to reading more.

~AF~

Caution: Filling is hot.

sleepymoongirl
Member

since 2001-04-19

Posts 157
bc canada

4 posted 2002-02-07 12:50 PM

i would like a friend like that too i'm sure you will find one. i liked the feeling it gave me when i read it it made me feel hopeful! well ttfn

as u go in life there will be ur hardships it is up to u if it makes u or breaks u.

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

5 posted 2002-02-07 01:49 PM

Excellent, I'd love someone like that too, but not all of us are that lucky....

~LCBS

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

6 posted 2002-02-07 10:35 PM

I understand how you feel...i hope that this person doesnt stay forever in your dreams but is one day at your side

mE & cHrIsTiNe GaVe A WhOlE nEw mEaNiNg tO ThE wOrD "iNcOgNiTo"

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