navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Forbidden Feelings
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic Forbidden Feelings Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York

0 posted 2001-12-12 09:00 PM



Blond hair, blue eyes,
Behind which a soul does hide,
She stands tall surrounded by power,
When she is sad, she sleeps away the hours.

She’s at my door nearly every day,
I wish I understood this game we play.
She seeks me out, keeps me near,
Though she is bored, she keeps me here.

She and I both have our loves,
Her’s here and mine above.
We both have problems in that area,
Wondering why for them we care.

We wander aimlessly, in circles we go,
Enjoying our company and saying all we know.
Hours we spend, together again,
Noon to night, we’re together and then,

Reality strikes, time awakens,
And apart we must be, but I’m not shaken.
As we walk, her that way and I this,
I resist the urge to take a kiss.

I know, it’s wrong and lecherous,
But I have no control in this…
My heard does not know where it lies,
As one love begins, another may die.

Alas it could not be anyway,
For I alone seem to feel this way.
Her heart is still firmly planted,
On the one to which it was handed.

Don't Drink and Park!
Accidents may cause People!

© Copyright 2001 Richard H. Dikeman - All Rights Reserved
lone_poet707
Member
since 2001-11-17
Posts 70
black hole named Aylmer
1 posted 2001-12-12 09:29 PM


this is a beautiful piece! I could totally relate to this one- I actually just went thru a situation you described in this excellent poem. Hope to read more from ya!
  -Joe

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
2 posted 2001-12-21 11:34 AM


Just respect others and their relationships and you'll be ok
thanks for sharing

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.


AngelPoet87
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280
Indy
3 posted 2001-12-22 11:26 AM


Oh I really like this. Such a bittersweet piece. I can relate to this, been there once before. But made it out okay! Time will tell, whats meant to be will be, and all that good gravy. I also really like the ending, the only suggestion I would have is to change the line...

"When she is sad, she sleeps away the hours."
to
"When she is sad, she sleeps for hours"

or something, I just think a line with one or two less syllable(s) would flow much easier.   All in all, a pretty good write!

Liefhe alle ten spijte van duivel... A tes souhaits... A tes amours... Qu ils restent. J'ai t'adore. Je t'aime.

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York
4 posted 2001-12-22 02:56 PM


Thanks for the advice on the line!  I coudn't seem to come up with anything, and I gave up when I got frustrated.  Glad you'all liked the poem!

Don't Drink and Park!
Accidents may cause People!

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
5 posted 2001-12-22 07:21 PM


Her heart is still firmly planted,
On the one to which it was handed.

Ouch!! This poem was so sad, and it doesn't sound like a very fun situation.  Good luck in resolving it.  

~*Nikki*~

     *~Fighting for your love~*
    *~Is something I cannot do~*
   *~I'm not good enough to win~*
*~And I'm not strong enough to lose~*

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
6 posted 2001-12-23 08:58 AM


Interesting piece. We can't help who we love but we can control what we do. If it's meant to be, it will be.

Please remember to reply to others work too.

~AF~

If this is all the world has to offer, I want a refund on my life.

punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
7 posted 2001-12-23 12:50 PM


aww hun it's gonna be ok. don't let your mind overhrow your heart and you will figure things out.
robin

repeat after me and rhonda : TITUS RULES THE EARTH!! ( i saw your sig rhon! lol)

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
8 posted 2001-12-25 12:45 PM


Such a tough situation to be in...i've been in it before and i wish all the strength in the world for you cuz i remember it took a lot outta me...::hugs:: hope things turn out the way you would like them too

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Forbidden Feelings

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary