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Teen Poetry #5
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chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada

0 posted 2001-12-08 11:01 PM


A lamp light flickers
Silently, a lullaby within itself.
A frigid wind passes by
Waiting for the frost.
A bitter breath, exhale remorse
A frozen tear, still wet with love
Yet stoned by blinded eyes...
One doth see but once.
I called a name into the darkness
It faded before it crossed my lips
For nothing carried the words
To your ears.
You are there because you breathe...

Speechless because you cease to look beyond the breath
That carries the words to the heart...


Echoing.

+ + + + +
As some of you may have remembed once upon a time, I wrote a poem called Echoing. Or something like that. Well, consider this a rewrite. ^_^

Every emotion in this piece is true. It's as deep as anyone will ever see. Don't count on anything deeper...you might hurt yourself. ^^

Maybe if you look a little harder, you can see a reflection of yourself...

++ Leah ++

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

© Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-12-08 11:06 PM


*sigh* what can i say...such emotions i read from the heart and taken to the heart...your piece is somewhat different from what i read from you so far as your expression i can almost sense and somewhat relate, sincerely. such talent i will never cease to read...LEAH

Will yah consider your departure from here, peas?

Hey...#25437
What!
You in there?
Yea, im in here.
ok

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 12-08-2001).]

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
2 posted 2001-12-08 11:26 PM


"A frozen tear, still wet with love
Yet stoned by blinded eyes.." -- poignant, well constructed lines here.  I loved the overall feel of this piece.  It is completely drenched in your emotions.  Truly stunning work, this is what poetry is about.  

*Krista Knutson*

"An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind." -Gandhi

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
3 posted 2001-12-13 03:42 PM


You are just simply amazing
muah muah muah
I just love you work, so keep sharing
simply outstanding

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.


Android 17
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664
Winnipeg
4 posted 2001-12-13 03:45 PM


Leah---your work always leaves me thinking for about the next 15 minutes...and you know me...that's an IMPOSSIBILITY! I think it goes unsaid...but this is REEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL good!

[b]Surrender now, or prepare to fight![b]

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