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babygurl *
Junior Member
since 2001-12-07
Posts 30


0 posted 2001-12-07 02:09 AM



DECLARING LOVE

If my heart was a begger,
would you toss it crumbs of affection?

If my soul was lost,
would you give it some directions?

If my days were numbered,
would you sit there and hold my hand?

If my eyes were filled with tears,
would you try to understand?

If I were standing in the cold,
would you offer me your coat?

If my mind had an address,
would you drop me a note?

If I held the sunshine,
would you let me heat up your day?

If I told you I loved you,
...would you run away?

© Copyright 2001 babygurl * - All Rights Reserved
Android 17
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Senior Member
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-12-07 02:15 AM


I LOVE this!!! This is great...and you said you werenn't good! Jeez---you've insulted some MAJOR talents and potential! Jeez girl...

I wouldn't give you crumbs...I'd by you dinner---EVERYDAY!!!

I'd give you directions, hold your hand, I WOULD understand---I'd wipe those tears away, I'd give you my coat regardless, I'd drop you a line anytime, babe...Lol, and you can heat as much as you want!

And Jackie...I'd never run away from you!

~ Alex

My name is Alex...I don't go looking for trouble---but when it finds me, I fight back!

babygurl *
Junior Member
since 2001-12-07
Posts 30

2 posted 2001-12-07 02:19 AM


thanks babe! i really didnt think it was that great i wrote it a while ago... i really liked it then...
i guess its ok... you and i are so cute! lol...

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
3 posted 2001-12-07 07:44 AM


"If I told you I loved you,
...would you run away? "

awwww this is so cute jackie..i really enjoyed the read- its so sweet!....just watch out for alex  

Welcome Jackie!


im glad you made it in here...im sure youll enjoy this place as much as kiddo over there does

read, reply, post till you BURST!
enjoyed this first post of yours very much thanks..

ps- check your email for a speshul greeting

~cherish/mods

       

  

i luve mi con-tray! lyke a big an brown stetch olan wiv losa sun!



anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
4 posted 2001-12-07 12:58 PM


Welcome to Passions!!   (haven't done that in a while.  )

Very nice couplets. I see you've caught alex's attention..lol.
I hope to see you contribute a lot around here.  

~AF~

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my gosh....I could be eating a slow learner.



NathanS
Member
since 2001-09-27
Posts 106
CA
5 posted 2001-12-07 11:31 PM


*claps vigorously* VERY NICE! I really liked this, it was most most excellent. This is going to my Library for sure!

       -Dreys

Android 17
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664
Winnipeg
6 posted 2001-12-08 01:39 AM


Lol, darn rights she's caught my attention!

If you see a change in me don't wonder...there's someone in my life---a peace I can't describe...for I've been reborn!

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-12-08 04:54 PM


Oh wow, this is simply superb. The style you wrote this is was great. Very simple, but very emotional. I think you couldn't have written this any better. This is probably one of the best poems I've read here in Pip so far. It's that good, in my opinion.
VERY well done. Welcome to Passions. Enjoy your stay!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
8 posted 2001-12-09 08:08 PM


Well done, Jackie!  Welcome to Passions in Poetry.  This is a wonderful poem, written simply, yet powerful.  Nicely put together, especially the style.  The way you approached everything with the questions was a good way to work this.     I can't wait to read more, hopefully soon.  And again... welcome!

--Marie

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway.

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
9 posted 2001-12-10 10:15 AM


WELCOME!!!!

I enjoyed your first piece and im looking forward to reading more from you in hopefully the near future   Welcome again and i hope you enjoy it here as much as the rest of us do  !

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
10 posted 2001-12-10 12:47 PM


i liked the use of couplets, they gave emphasis to the emotion you wove into this piece.  nice work, i look forward to reading more from you.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
11 posted 2001-12-21 12:22 PM


Welcome!!! Welcome!!! Welcome!!!

First of all, let me welcome you to Passions for Poetry
I hope you enjoy reading, replying, and sharing your own poems
Everyone in here is really nice, and welcomes you to the family
Have a great time in this great place

Secondly, I loved your first post
The questions asked brings about such longing
You did a great job and I'm ready to see more of your work
Thanks for sharing

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.


babygurl *
Junior Member
since 2001-12-07
Posts 30

12 posted 2002-02-11 02:31 PM


thanks for all the great reply's guys! i know its been a while since i been here but i will get postin as soon as i can!
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