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Teen Poetry #5
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Hallucination
Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419


0 posted 2001-12-05 10:55 AM


" Your Arms Around Me "
© 2001 Brian Eggertsen, All Rights Reserved


V1:
I never thought I'd find someone
who'd speak right ot my heart
thought I'd live my life alone
that i couldn't reach that far...

V2:
And you're a once in a lifetime
you are the sweetest rose
and you're the first who doesn't
fade away when I get close...

C:
I'll never reach the bottom of the wel
with Your Arms Around Me
no, I'll never ever die and got to hell
With Your Arms Around Me
You're eyes fill my heart with memories
of the way it feels to fly
Oh, with Your Arms Around Me
with Your Arms Around Me...

V3:
You showed me the way to love
you open your heart to me
you're the reason I'm breathing
you gave me the gift of melody...

And I pray every day that you
will never let me go
you are the queen of my heart
and I just want you to know...

C:
I'll never reach the bottom of the wel
with Your Arms Around Me
no, I'll never ever die and got to hell
With Your Arms Around Me
You're eyes fill my heart with memories
of the way it feels to fly
Oh, with Your Arms Around Me
with Your Arms Around Me...

C:
I'll never reach the bottom of the wel
with Your Arms Around Me
no, I'll never ever die and got to hell
With Your Arms Around Me
You're eyes fill my heart with memories
of the way it feels to fly
Oh, with Your Arms Around Me
with Your Arms Around Me...

© Copyright 2001 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved
banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
1 posted 2001-12-05 12:35 PM


this is nice and it has good rhythm to it.  not a bad piece.  on another note, this is the last of your poetry i will be replying to.  155 of 162 of your post are your own poetry, showing that you have no interest in replying to the work of others or contributing to the larger community here at piptalk.  im sorry if this offends you, but that is something that bothers me more than anything else here.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

AngelPoet87
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280
Indy
2 posted 2001-12-06 05:58 PM


As for this piece, I thought it was absolutly wonderful. Such a sweet and romantic piece. Though I thought it may be a bit better if another verse were added, that or a bridge (or whatever you want to call it). But I suppose if this works best for you, then thats what counts!

As for your posting and replying amounts, I must say that I agree with Ban. While I find it amazing that any one person could write that many poems (lol), I do think it would be greatly appreciated if more effort were put into other people's work. Anyway, I do hope you consider replying more, I would hate to see this chase you off. Take cares.

Liefhe alle ten spijte van duivel... A tes souhaits... A tes amours... Qu ils restent. J'ai t'adore. Je t'aime.

TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
3 posted 2001-12-07 01:34 AM


Very nice it's very sweet and romantic I love it keep up the great work.
  Lauren

"I just needed someone to talk to you were just to busy with yourself."-Staind


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