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Teen Poetry #5
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branden726
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Bay City, MI

0 posted 2001-12-02 12:59 PM


Though I never knew you,
I loved you very much,
Though I never met you,
I wished I could feel your touch,
Though I never met you,
You made my heart turn to mush,
Though I learned to love you,
With every bit of my heart

© Copyright 2001 Branden Jacobs - All Rights Reserved
Jenn Cirrincione
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Fl
1 posted 2001-12-02 10:49 AM


Well... I relate to this so darn much  
This was so simple, I loved it. And there's a lot of truth in it.

Jenn

"I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..."

EagleScorpion
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since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever
2 posted 2001-12-02 09:46 PM


yea i think i can relate to this too..
that person who you know is the one.. but you've never met them b4 or anything

banburycross
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since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
3 posted 2001-12-03 01:19 PM


very simple and straight forwrd.  i like this one

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

xShUgArHiGhx
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
4 posted 2001-12-03 01:27 PM


I understand exactly how you feel here brandon...short and sweet   i enjoyed this!

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

Fading Away
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5 posted 2001-12-07 07:15 AM


I know what you're saying here, and I know what you're trying to get across.  Due to the fact that it's a short poem, I think you need to put a little more power into it.  The repitition is too much for such a short piece, and you kind of leave the reader hanging at the end.  I think you can do more with this.
Nice work, just the same.  Very tough situation.   Take care,

--Marie

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway.

anonymousfemale
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
6 posted 2001-12-07 12:52 PM


Ok I couldn't relate to this at all but it's good that others can.
Thanks for the read, branden.  

~AF~

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my gosh....I could be eating a slow learner.



Acies
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Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-12-21 11:09 AM


hmmmm, I'm just wondering who this is for

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.


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