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Teen Poetry #5
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Jenn Cirrincione
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Fl

0 posted 2001-11-30 12:26 PM


This is for Marge...she ispired me and I thought I'd give it a go.  
Thoughts and comments appreciated.


As I sleep,
All is still.
Resting warmly,
in golden light.
Images flooding,
throughout my mind,
reminding of your touch.
A soulmate,
A friend.
A caring heart,
guiding my own.
Dancing slowly,
on that moonlit beach.
Hypnotized by-
your pleading eyes.
Here with me-
you always are.
Every night,
as I dream,
of that first kiss.


[This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (edited 11-30-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Jennifer Parker - All Rights Reserved
banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
1 posted 2001-11-30 12:28 PM


i really liked how you ended this piece.  this flowed really well and had some really nice images.  keep posting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Fading Away
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2 posted 2001-11-30 12:33 PM


This piece was written very well.  I like the short lines, I thought it worked very well with what you were saying.  style of a poem is everything... very sentimental piece.  (:  Good job.

--Marie

If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car.

Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2001-11-30 12:41 PM


Jenn~
This is just lovely~
I've received your e-mail of the URL
and thank you for participating~

Inspire looks good on you~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
     noles1@totcon.com                

Jenn Cirrincione
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4 posted 2001-11-30 12:51 PM


BC= thank you I always appreciate your kind words  

Marie= well girlie it's bee forever since I've seen you on the blue pages   Thanks for replying and thanks for your comments.

Marge= Glad you liked it. hehe Ispire? I always thought I was more a pastel  

"I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..."

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
5 posted 2001-11-30 01:13 PM


Hey hun,
  This was so pretty!!    You really captured the moment with some beautiful imagery and, as usual, I really liked it!  Great work!  

~*Nikki*~

     *~Fighting for your love~*
    *~Is something I cannot do~*
   *~I'm not good enough to win~*
*~And I'm not strong enough to lose~*

Jenn Cirrincione
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Fl
6 posted 2001-12-01 12:41 PM


Thanks Nikki    

"I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..."

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
7 posted 2001-12-24 01:44 AM


Tis not my favorites of yours, However...Was a good piece all the same. Awesome imagery indeed.

"I'd rather die purposely alone than to have lived an accidental life of solitude."- Jesa "§ùgã®" Thompson
  

xShUgArHiGhx
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
8 posted 2001-12-24 10:52 AM


Awww this was nice...i liked it

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

anonymous albert ?
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9 posted 2001-12-24 07:57 PM


lovely piece...i liked the whole poem but the ending is what captured it the most. i liked it, Jenn.

Hey...#25437
What!
You in there?
Yea, im in here.
ok

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
10 posted 2001-12-25 01:23 AM


a great poem old friend. i liked it very much and hope to read more real soon

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-


TopGunLauren
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since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
11 posted 2001-12-25 01:40 AM


I really like this piece keep up the awsome work.
  Lauren

"I just needed someone to talk to you were just to busy with yourself."-Staind


punkrockerrobin
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Sparks, NV
12 posted 2001-12-25 01:43 AM


jenn it rocked i loved it!
robin

repeat after me: punk is the best music ever created!

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
13 posted 2001-12-25 04:22 AM


i agree with maire- the short lines gave the piece a really nice flow. read it through quick and had a smile on my face when i was finished....sometimes coveting something's better then the actual thing. liked this one lots

Cut your hair. short. now. and cry. cuz no one cares.

Marshalzu
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Lurking
14 posted 2001-12-25 06:53 PM


Wow, this is absoloutely great Jenn, I love the short lines and the wonderful descriptions. keep up the good work

Andrew

If I gave you $1 for every reply you might be rich, but looking at your post count I think not.

Shygirl82
Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245
Ilinois
15 posted 2001-12-25 10:32 PM


I thought this was great...like the others have said...you created some beautiful imagery...thanks for sharing...
~Nikki~

Smile!!  You never know who may be falling in love with it...

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