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Teen Poetry #5
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SunShine913
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-08-19
Posts 211
Italy but from NC

0 posted 2001-11-26 08:15 PM



all i ask is that you
give our love a chance
there has never been a better
season for romance
with you i want to dance.

but i swear that every day
ill bring love,
passion,
and happiness,
to your door.
youll like it so much
that youll beg me for more
well maybe not
but you get the picture
and ill quit the lecture

just remember that only you
can make me hope
my love for you will never stop
this is a chance you
dont want to miss
just give me a kiss
and you find your princess
you wont even have to ask why
youll just find that even i
can be a wonderful gal
because i love you
now
and forever!

            *!~!* Andrea *!~!*    

© Copyright 2001 Andrea L. Figueroa - All Rights Reserved
cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
1 posted 2001-11-26 10:27 PM


awwwwwww..nice piece..but i thought that you should have continued the rhyme scheme throughout the poem. other then that i think you did a good job of conveying your emotions....sometimes youve just gotta tell the person that you're the one and you've got the capability of making them happy. i hope things work out well for you A..

       

  

i luve mi con-tray! lyke a big an brown stetch olan wiv losa sun!



DawnG
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494
United States
2 posted 2001-11-26 11:08 PM


Andrea,

Guys don't seem to understand what a heart of gold I have either. Hopefully someday one of them will be able to recognize the love in my heart that is spilling out.

                                 Dawn

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
3 posted 2001-12-26 04:36 AM



Read_what_i_write-
I really enjoyed reading this.
I like the strong and confident sounding
voice in which it's penned.
It's written in such a way as to make the reader 'believe'.
Nice job.
Hugs,
~Vicky


"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
4 posted 2001-12-26 01:09 PM


I like the powerful voice of this poem.  Nice work!  You tell him who's boss
I enjoyed this, nad I hope to see more soon!

--Marie

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway.

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