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Teen Poetry #5
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Jimmy_Fallon
New Member
since 2001-11-16
Posts 3
Selah , Washington

0 posted 2001-11-24 02:56 AM


Hey, I'm kinda new to all this but I have a lot to say so if ya have any suggestions feel free to let me know... This ones about a guy that I couldn't live without and its my apology because we just got in a huge fight and made up but I'm scared its gonna happen again. Thanks


Doors

You say you love me
That its impossible for me to love you more
But you have no idea
What I feel when you walk through that door.

You walk in
and my face lights up.
Never has the world felt so new and bright.
You look at me
You smile
You hold me tight.

I woke up one day
Felt so alone.
Can't take it back
I feel so bad.

You walk out
My heart drops to the floor.
I hurt you too much
You deserve so much more.

All I have
is my love for you.
But you have no idea
How much I wish you'd walk through that door.

"...but what I hate the most is that I don't hate you... not even a little bit... not even at all"

© Copyright 2001 Ashleigh - All Rights Reserved
TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
1 posted 2001-11-24 10:16 PM


I liked this poem you expressed your emotion perfectly.Keep up the good work.
  Lauren

DawnG
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494
United States
2 posted 2001-11-24 10:34 PM


Jimmy_Fallon,

This is indeed a great expressive poem. Thank you for sharing. I hope in even just a little way your sharing your feelings with all of us, helps you a bit.

Welcome to Passions. I hope you enjoy your stay with us as much as we will enjoy having you.

Please check your e-mail for a special message.

                               Dawn

EagleScorpion
Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever
3 posted 2001-11-25 01:13 PM


I think you two can perservere just fine... but if he hits you.. you better start thinking twice about your relationship... please

Love is God. Love is war. Love is what your life is for.

Alyssa
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385
IM ENGAGED!!!!!
4 posted 2001-11-25 10:03 PM


hey i really really liked this poem it was like really good in a weird way for me
Thanks for sharing!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
     You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
5 posted 2001-11-26 09:50 AM


I really enjoyed this...you express your feelings nicely in your writing...nice read!

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

Chel
Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511
Baltimore, MD, USA
6 posted 2001-11-26 10:17 AM


I liked this piece, it had a lot of feeling.  I think you did a great job on this piece.  I also believe that almost every girl has a guy that she feels the same way about.  Keep up the great work.

Chel

"True friends stab you in the front."
"You are special and unique in your own way." "Your FAITH is all you need"

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-11-28 04:50 AM


I presume his name was Jimmy?
Well I thought you wrote the poem just fine.......You expressed yourself well. Good luck with Jimmy....oh...and words of advice......truths are displayed in actions, not words. For words are but images of thoughts and truly not real because interpretation by the individual brings it into subjectivism. So, you saying you love jimmy would have to be displayed by your actions towads him and not only by this poem.  
I enjoyed the poem. Well done  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

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