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Teen Poetry #5
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gymnast
Member
since 2001-11-18
Posts 80
Scotland.

0 posted 2001-11-21 03:02 PM


When you get that feeling,
You’re soaring up high,
Head in the clouds,
Way up in the sky.

The feeling got broken,
Along with my heart,
He ran away and left me,
For some other tart.

He asked if I loved him,
And said to speak true,
I even had the guts
To say that I do.

When he didn’t reply,
With “yes so Do I,”
I knew it was over,
And I fell from the sky.

The next day he told me,
And he spoke it true,
He didn’t love me,
And this much I knew.

Still I did love him,
And still broke my heart,
That horrible boyfriend,
And his stupid tart.

I cried all night long,
And all through the day,
Till slowly I realised,
I’d wasted away.
It’s not worth the hassle,
They’re just all the same,
Each horrible players,
In the stupid Love game!



© Copyright 2001 Amanda - All Rights Reserved
Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
1 posted 2001-11-21 05:00 PM


WOOOO HOOOOO!!! You go girl. I loved this LMAO...it's like a kick arse nursery rhyme!!   Loving it!!!

Jenn

"I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..."

luckyducky_505
Member
since 2001-04-29
Posts 53
Kentucky, USA
2 posted 2001-11-21 05:10 PM


I really, really loved this. It is soooo true!!! I wrote  anew poem almost like that on a letter just a day ago and it was awesome!! He was sooo stunned!! Keep it going!!

If you wanna be somebody, If you wanna go somewhere, you gotta wake-up and pay attention. ~Sister Act 2~
~Whoopi Goldberg~

AngelPoet87
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280
Indy
3 posted 2001-11-21 08:34 PM


Okay, I just couldn't help but laugh at the whole "tart" thing. Lol, I'm easily amused obviously. But I like the message, and the poem itself was good.

Liefhe alle ten spijte van duivel... A tes souhaits... A tes amours... Qu ils restent. J'ai t'adore. Je t'aime.

NathanS
Member
since 2001-09-27
Posts 106
CA
4 posted 2001-11-21 09:09 PM


This was a really excellntly written poem, i must say. *Applauds* But as a note, not all guys are players. I myself am not. When i told my girlfriend that i loved her (I said it to her and also gave her a poem) she didn't say that she loved me write after that. I waited, then eventually she did say so. But the lasy thing i would do is be a player. So, remember, not all guys are players   although some unfortunately are and there the ones that give the bad names to the rest of us.

               -Dreys
p.s. good write, im adding it to the library

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
5 posted 2001-11-26 09:40 AM


Stand uo for yourself, that's the way to do it
Hey, not lal guys are bad, look at me   lol
hope things do work out next tiem for you
thanks for sharing

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?


xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
6 posted 2001-11-26 09:49 AM


Love can definately suck at times..i feel for ya..::hugs::

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
7 posted 2001-12-26 04:14 AM



gymnast-
You've done a great job of expressing
your frustration and hurt.
I like the bold voice of this.
Hugs,
~Vicky


"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
8 posted 2001-12-26 01:02 PM


*hugs*  Very hard situation.  But just remember... love is not always returned, and if it isn't, then that's ok.  It doesn't have to be.  Just loving the person is beautiful enough.
Well done, I like the flow and rhyme scheme throughout this piece.
I hope to see more soon.

--Marie

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway.

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