navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Dreams
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic Dreams Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
PoetryIsLife
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

0 posted 2001-11-19 08:40 PM



Dreams are what we make them.
Some might say, “Ahem!
‘Tis not true!
I don’t wish to be cruel,
but dreams are merely dreams!”

Go climb a tree-
I soundly disagree!
If a dream is a dream,
then what of the King?

If one gets anywhere in life,
fights through the daily strife,
it’s because one dreamed,
one dared to get creamed!

Without dreams, we would be nowhere,
a society that didn’t care.
To me, that’s a mighty scare!

If no dreams, what of color?
Innovation? The ability to hover?
One could go on,
risk being redundant;
just trust me friend:
If one dreams, in the end,
the world will owe that dreamer
a mighty debt of gratitude.

Dreams are the porthole to a world of beauty...

Daniel Redding
11/11-19/01

© Copyright 2001 Daniel Redding - All Rights Reserved
Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
1 posted 2001-11-20 01:20 AM


True, Titus, very true. Very well done. Library piece indeed.

~Love Rhon for she is as good as Zu... Yeah, that sounds right...err all hail Zu and Rhon~
I love Titus

DawnG
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494
United States
2 posted 2001-11-20 12:01 PM


I like dreams too.

                         Dawn

~gretchenp34~
Junior Member
since 2001-10-08
Posts 46
Ohio, USA
3 posted 2001-11-20 06:26 PM


well this is what i say: success always starts with a dream. well done

Love is like learning to play the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play by your heart.  

SunShine913
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-08-19
Posts 211
Italy but from NC
4 posted 2001-11-21 10:38 AM


i really liked this poem.. but then again im starting to have a lil thing for your work very good and all i can say .. is .. what is your dream??

            *!~!* Andrea *!~!*    

Android 17
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664
Winnipeg
5 posted 2001-11-22 11:12 AM


Lol, well Titus...this, I think is the first work of yours that I've ever read. Now I feel bad for not reading any other work of yours...I think I'll search up your UserName and read stuff of yours from the past that I've missed! Man, this is good! Lol, I can tell that you wrote it...it has your---your essence...your style! Y'know?

And sadly...well, it's very hard for me to dream. If you read "Dreams of a Small Boy" (by me) then you'll understand abit more...I say it's my most heartfelt poem...

"Fighting was the only thing I was good at...but I at least I always fought for what I beleived in..."

TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
6 posted 2001-11-23 03:12 AM


Dreams are what you make of them but I really ove this poem keep up the great work.
  Lauren

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
7 posted 2001-11-23 10:40 AM


Hey, nice job!! It's soo important to dream.  Dreams are what keep you going when you have nothing else.  Nice work!!  

~*Nikki*~

     *~Fighting for your love~*
    *~Is something I cannot do~*
   *~I'm not good enough to win~*
*~And I'm not strong enough to lose~*

punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
8 posted 2001-11-26 03:06 AM


a dream is but a dream intil it becomes reality!

titus is mine and mine only!!! *glares at rhonda*
I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STREGTHENS ME! PHILIPPIANS 4:13
love me for i am PUNK!

gymnast
Member
since 2001-11-18
Posts 80
Scotland.
9 posted 2001-11-26 06:36 AM


Hey,
Just thought I'd write and say that I thought this poem was awesome!  I'm a daydreamer so really can relate to this poem!
  Luv~n~Hugz
Amanda

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
10 posted 2001-12-01 12:40 PM


There is nothing wrong with dreaming as long as we keep ourselves still on reality.
Dreams are goals that we pursue, and without them, how can we better ourselves.
Beautiful poem once again.  
thanks for sharing and keep em coming.

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?

[This message has been edited by acire (edited 12-01-2001).]

punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
11 posted 2001-12-02 01:32 PM


acire stop pretending to sound smart lol!!

i love this poem hun it's great!!

titus is mine and mine only!!! *glares at rhonda*
I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STREGTHENS ME! PHILIPPIANS 4:13
love me for i am PUNK!

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
12 posted 2001-12-02 04:17 PM


Daniel/Poetryislife:

I believe this is the first poem I've read by you...I think. o_O; My memory isn't too good...that's what happens when you get old. Not that I'm old...Uhm. Hmph. *boil*

Anywho-

I thought the "ahem" was cute in the first stanza. That grabbed my attention to the rest of the diologue. Maybe that's just because my attention span is all over the place right now...o_O;

The second stanza, I wasn't too sure what you were trying to say. Maybe you could reword it?

Third stanza- I thought it was very kawaii. ^_^ Especially the last two lines. As well, the message was great.

Fifth stanza- you had some really good rhyming going on. ^^; Esp. "color" and "hover".

The last line was awesome. Pure genius. I'd have to agree with you on that one. Just...wow. Awesomeness.

On a general/evil-poet-mode note: I found the meter a bit iffy at times. It's not a major thing, but if the meter was changed in a few places, the poem would flow better. Just as a side note. ^^;

Thanks for the read! ^_^

++ Leah ++

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
13 posted 2001-12-03 12:09 PM


i like the tone of this piece, it kept everything light hearted and kept the reader very engaged.  god job with this.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
14 posted 2001-12-03 01:29 PM


This piece was awesome!! Kinda reminded me a lil of a Dr.Seuss short story or somethin in they way you worded the poem..hehe i liked this mucho!

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

PoetryIsLife
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
15 posted 2001-12-03 07:48 PM


Thank's all! You rule!  

Titus

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
16 posted 2001-12-24 01:47 AM


Hmmm...
Nice write...
You have a fresh tone when you write, I'm becoming a bit fond of it actually.

"I'd rather die purposely alone than to have lived an accidental life of solitude."- Jesa "§ùgã®" Thompson
  

PoetryIsLife
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
17 posted 2001-12-26 01:17 PM


Thanks.

[This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (12-26-2001 01:17 PM).]

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Dreams

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary