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Teen Poetry #5
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The Days Flow On
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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The Days Flow On |
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PoetryIsLife 
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... 
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Ring, Ring, Ring The morning bell sounds. Over he turns, the spell of sleep unbound. At her he peers, still out she be - he’ll let her sleep, for content she seems. A smile to his face, still she brings. In love forever they will be, two now one for all eternity. He crawls out of bed, to the closet he slips. Hands now hold his suit and his tie. The water slowly pours as the grogginess drains away. He towels off, careful to be quiet. Blade in hand, shaving cream lathered. The stubble comes off, his face fresh once again. Out comes the mousse, in goes the comb. A few splashes of cologne, some swipes of the brush to his teeth. Zips his pants, tightens his belt. Buttons his shirt, slips on his suit. The watch, the necklace, a simple note of love. A quick bite of this, a quick sip of that. Another look at her, one step out that door. The engine purrs as he concurs: life is good, the days flow on. Daniel Redding 11/9/01 |
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| © Copyright 2001 Daniel Redding - All Rights Reserved | |||
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Wow! That was so cool and different! I love it! Into my library! ~Love Rhon for she is as good as Zu... Yeah, that sounds right...err all hail Zu and Rhon~ |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
What a refreshing read this morning. Beautiful. Dawn |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Very nice post...i like how you took details and made them exciting to fit in your poem by using clipped phrases. Great write... Salma |
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AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
This was beautiful in all of its simplicity. Liefhe alle ten spijte van duivel... A tes souhaits... A tes amours... Qu ils restent. J'ai t'adore. Je t'aime. |
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HeAvEnS AnGeL Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 168The Hot Girl From Canada |
awesome and interesting!! keep it up hun 
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
This one's different! In the olden days people used to fear and hate things that're different and changed...but little did they know it was all for the best. The same goes for this! If people don't like this...then they'll be stuck in the past forever! Ad they'll NEVER advance in life! "Fighting was the only thing I was good at...but I at least I always fought for what I beleived in..." |
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Barelybreathing Junior Member
since 2000-04-26
Posts 46 |
This was totally awesome!!! 'The greatest thing in the world is to know how to be one's own.' |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
This was really different than the other stuff I've seen written by you. But it was very good!!! Nice work!  ~*Nikki*~ *~Fighting for your love~* |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Wow... this is a nice piiece but also different kep up the awsome work. Lauren |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Wow, thank you all for the replys. It's so heartwarming to know you enjoy my work. Thanks again! Sincerely, Titus |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
hey hun great work i love it!! i can feel the love in this one. titus is mine and mine only!!! *glares at rhonda* |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
that had a subtle touch to it awesome!!!! loved it thanks for sharing là où est mon amour? |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
I agree, different, simple, beatiful. Muy bien! "I'd rather die purposely alone than to have lived an accidental life of solitude."- Jesa "§ùgã®" Thompson |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
DEFINATELY DIFFERENT FROM WHAT IM USE TO!!!!!! GrEaT!!!!!!! ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Wow. I have to admit, this is one my favorite ones, not just because this was written after my ability in poetry took a jump up in ability (so serious, it's amazing to look back and see the spikes in ability), but because this one is very personal to me. I'm not sure why. Maybe because this is a dream of my, eh? God bless, and a happy New year. Again, thanks.Sincerely, Titus |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
*blink* now that I know you better, I actually pictured you as the guy you were writing about. Hm. Interesting. |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
I know I replied to this a loooong time ago, but now that it has come back up and, after rereading it, I felt I had to reply again. I really liked how simple this poem is in describing the everyday routine of a man leaving his wife for work. But you put so much detail and description into this that you really made such a simple routine as getting ready in the morning seem like so much MORE...I'm not sure why this didn't grab me so much the first time I read it, but I'm definitely glad that it bumped back up because now I have the oppurtunity to add this wonderful piece to my library. Always, Nikki *~Fighting for your love~* |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
I missed this the first time around titus The best part of this poem was the simple wording all the way through echoing life for him and then what I consider to be a bombshell last line the days roll on flow = smooth smooth = where we all want to be I love this poem I wan't someone to tiptoe around for I'm on my feet, I'm on the floor, I'm good to go All I need is just to hear a song I know [This message has been edited by Kevin (08-20-2002 09:57 AM).] |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Thank you, everyone.  Sincerely, Titus "I'll prepare myself, and one day my time will come." |
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