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Salooma
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since 2000-01-28
Posts 781


0 posted 2001-11-09 08:34 PM


The Fairytale

Why can't life be a fairytale?
And love not hurt so much, not ache so much.
Why can't it be a gliding sale?
Upon a boat just big enough for two.
Only me and only you.

Why can't dreams ever come true?
And whisper in our warmest nights to make our love right.
Why can't wishes carry wings and soar in the blue?
Ready to make two souls one.
Just like all the lovers once done.

Why can't my heart leave me alone just one day?
And look for another passerby.
Why can't my love be as the poets say?
True love.
Written by the wings of of a young dove.


8/30/01

I gotta say this isn't one of my best, but I tried. Tell me what you guys think. Thanks  

[This message has been edited by Ron (06-25-2011 10:01 AM).]

© Copyright 2001 Salooma - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Member Seraphic
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with you
1 posted 2001-11-10 02:28 AM


I think the message comes across clear...and I think I like this  
Acies
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Member Rara Avis
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Twilight Zone
2 posted 2001-11-12 10:00 AM


I actually love the style you incorporated in here.  
I love the poem.
thanks for sharing again Salooma
keep em coming

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?


Jenn Cirrincione
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since 2000-07-02
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Fl
3 posted 2001-11-12 11:06 AM


Very interesting. Very soft-spoken in it's appearance. I liked it.  

Jenn

"I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..."

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
4 posted 2001-11-12 01:31 PM


This was good, i liked it...the unanswered questions....Well always be curious as too why they get answered. great work!

Regina

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
5 posted 2001-11-12 03:57 PM


I ask those questions everyday. I don't think they'll ever be answered, or answered the way I want them. Great job on the poem.
Jon

"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur
"Sometimes it takes a painful loss to realize you are free"- Bouncing Souls

sweetstuff101
Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375
OK, USA
6 posted 2001-11-12 10:51 PM


That is really beautiful! I love it, thanx for posting it  

           ~*~Priscilla~*~

*Nous aimons et nous vivons*
*Nous vivons et nous aimons*

NathanS
Member
since 2001-09-27
Posts 106
CA
7 posted 2001-11-12 11:26 PM


Very nice   I liked it very much, but i think you have a repeated Of at the end.

              -Dreys

xShUgArHiGhx
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since 2000-09-26
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
8 posted 2001-11-13 10:23 AM


yea...why cant life be a fairytale??? I wish it could be too...nice poem!

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

sleepymoongirl
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157
bc canada
9 posted 2001-11-13 03:36 PM


yes.... why can't life be that easy..... i would be alot happier if it were...... from me
Salooma
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

10 posted 2001-11-20 06:30 PM


gosh you guys....i didn't expect so much  
i've gone for a while and didn't check this out...thank you all.
you guys are awesome  

Salma

Salooma
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

11 posted 2001-11-20 06:36 PM


NathanS: thanks for telling me about that of  
i think i fixed it  

Salma

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
12 posted 2001-11-28 05:00 AM


Amazing poem, but ending is abrupt. Maybe a few more verses.....or a change?
VERY well done though! I truly loved it.  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

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