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fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-11-07 10:16 PM

Steadfast

Will thou not build me a willow cabin at thy gates?

If an hour's travel told
you singing
praises; would thou never scold
so harshly my love
(dancing so lightly in your playing)
Others make a mockery of

Build me first an IandYou
Straying
from a beaten path so new
So straightforward in my love
(dancing so lightly in your playing)
Others make an example of

Captured earliest flowers
fade away
With all the coming hours
And so stands my Love
(dancing and playing in your lightning)
At your gates telling tales of
YouandI

"and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings

[This message has been edited by fozzyozzy (edited 11-07-2001).]

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

1 posted 2001-11-07 10:21 PM

Awsome poem I love it keep up the grear work.
Lauren

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2001-11-07 11:12 PM

This was neat! I have never seen you before. It's nice to read from you!
I like what you did with line breaks in the stanzas, it made the poem sound neat.

Theo

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

3 posted 2001-11-08 09:54 PM

FOZZY!!! OZZY!!!

Sean......dude.

Where ya been, eh?

*shakes head* Going abstract again, I see. *sigh* A nice break from love poems. I think I missed this one, so *bump*. EVIL SINKING.
I never get tired of your stuff. It always amazes me, and makes me think (which can be a good thing if done right) Always a pleasure reading your poems. ^_^

++ Leah ++

ps- loved the first line. where do you come up with those?

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

[This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 11-08-2001).]

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

4 posted 2001-11-09 07:05 PM

Ooooh nice!!! I loved the way this one flowed!

~*Nikki*~

~*I'd rather you hate me for what I am than love me for what I'm not.*~

Knight of Secrecy
Member

since 2001-10-12

Posts 113
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-11-09 11:20 PM

Nice poem, Good job.

-C.M.

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