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Teen Poetry #5
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Why walk away when im talking to you?
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Why walk away when im talking to you? |
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branden726 
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI 
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Why walk away when im talking to you, You see the tears flow and you just shut the door, Dont turn on me now, Please dont leave, Through out these shakey times will emerge you and me, Even though im not the sweetest thing i used to be, I still love you with every piece of my heart, Why walk away when im talking to you, Your nothing but an ignorant fool! Ive shown you love and ive shown you happiness, How can you live with yourself, Knowing you've broken my hear, Taken my soul, Burned it and burried it in a hole. I showed you love and I showed you the world, I gave you my heart, I gave you my soul, Now i give you my hand in yours, Friends forever Signs Of Doves P.s. im back although not at my best i soon will be Im still Sweet and im Still tender but i am a different person dont worry yes im still cuddly branden i love you all and ill see you around [This message has been edited by branden726 (edited 11-06-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Branden Jacobs - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
The poem was alright. Nice work. Like I said, the poem was alright though. Theo [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (edited 11-06-2001).] |
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branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Parasite, sorry :-p didnt mean that actually i dont know why i put it in there i meant was i used to be a great writer now i suck ya know thanks for your reply tho i really hope ya liked it more than you say and as you can see i edited it b4 because i proofread it and it sounded shall i say like i was an @ yeah i know the rules i wont say it dont worry but you guys know huh sorry love ya parasite :-d All you other poets beware my true feelings and poetry are about to flare! |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I luv ya too  ... stranger. I'm just being honest about the poem. I don't know much about poetry yet though. Maybe I am just tired. I'll read it again tomorrow.  Theo |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
ahh my darling brandon you have returned...im consumed with overwhelming joy **You can't always trust the people you want to** [This message has been edited by DancinQueen (edited 11-06-2001).] |
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Honey Member
since 2001-10-09
Posts 92Hot girl From Canada |
branden... what can i say, nice peice and welcome back hun It Feels As If I've Always Been Someone On The Outside Looking In. |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Well hello there.  Interesting poem, nice display of emotion. I think the flow was a bit off and there were what appeared to be minor spelling mistakes, but all in all nice job. Jenn "I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..." |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
Branden, I love the message this poem gives. It is something I say quite often to a friend. Dawn |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Branden ur back!!! Yay!!!!! Where have ya been!?! I enjoyed this poem a lot, its nice to see work from you again...i relate to this poem in a lot of ways...nice to see ya around!! ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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Alyssa
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
BrandenBoy! yay!!! ur posting!!! wow!!!!! love it babes! 3 out of 5 computers bought today will be physically abused by their owners... |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Great poem and I thik everyone is glad you are back.Keep up the great work! Lauren |
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deadeyes Junior Member
since 2001-11-07
Posts 33 |
I think it had it's good as well as it's not so good parts. I dont know you because obviously you've written more than 700 postings but in my opinion it lacked some substance. I believe you just wrote it as is..but still i think a little bit deep thinking and it'll be just fine. Btw maybe it turned out that way because of some personal experience. =) |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
Hi. Nice returning poem. I believe you when you say you're still sweet "and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings |
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branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Hiya!! Well you guys dont worry this is what i call a little start i will come back dont worry im here now to stay well maybe if my computer still works i just broke it tonite but i dont care anymore hehe well thanks for the honesty guys and im soooo happy to be back and thank you guys im glad u love it to ~*Branden*~ |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Hellooow Branden! I can fully relate to this piece. Well done and it's great to see you back again. ~AF~ Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my gosh....I could be eating a slow learner. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Hey Branden! It's awesome to see you back in action once again. I enjoyed this piece, and look forward to reading what's next..--Marie If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Hey Branden, just stay strong and keep that chin up, ok? Nice to see you sharing again là où est mon amour? |
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