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Teen Poetry #5
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CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

0 posted 2001-11-05 08:19 PM


Howdy.  This one is one that I wrote a while back...  Yet it's one of my most recent.  It's not very good, the format isn't very good for the poem.  But I like this format and I've been trying out new things with it, so this is my poem.  Let me know what you think!

THE REAL ME

Misunderstood
Nobody seems to understand
Who I am

Shy
People who don't now me think
But they're wrong

Caring
Eas to talk to and listen well
I'm here for you

Lonely
So much love waiting for a girl
A hopeless romantic

Please
Talk to me, I'm not like you think
Can we be friends?

Someday
Everybody will be able to see
The real me

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?  

© Copyright 2001 C.K.N. - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-11-05 08:33 PM


Nice to meet you, Cody.
I like the formatting of this poem.  You chose a great stanza structure and went well with it.  I felt that the theme was a little simple and lacked some depth, however.  I hope you don't mind me picking at this.
You have a good technical talent, and this is the first of your pieces I've read so I won't make any conclusions.  I'll just go and read some more.

That's all.


Theo

[This message has been edited by Local Parasite (edited 11-05-2001).]

Honey
Member
since 2001-10-09
Posts 92
Hot girl From Canada
2 posted 2001-11-05 11:59 PM


Hey Cody    This poem wasn't one of your best but it was good.  It describes who YOU really are.

It Feels As If I've Always Been Someone On The Outside Looking In.

He Who Laughs Last Thinks Slowest!!

DawnG
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494
United States
3 posted 2001-11-06 12:02 PM


CwboyAtHeart,

All I have to say here, is Wow! Sounds just like something I could have written about myself.

                         Dawn

Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
4 posted 2001-11-06 01:19 AM


I hear what you're saying man! Totally into my library!

~I am a computer genius... Hey! How do you turn this thing on?!?

~Love me because I am Rhonda

Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
5 posted 2001-11-06 01:21 AM


Forgot to put it in my library  

~I am a computer genius... Hey! How do you turn this thing on?!?

~Love me because I am Rhonda

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