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Teen Poetry #5
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Mommy!?
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Mommy!? |
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xShUgArHiGhx 
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
"Did i upset mommy??" The little girls said pulling on her grandpa's coat. "Is that why she left me?", Tears started down her face and on the words she choked. "I didnt get to say i was sorry", She looked into her grandpa's tired eyes. "I dont even know what i did", "She promised never to leave my side!" The grandpa held the little girl close, Her body shivering with fear.. His heart breaking more and more, With every shed of the little girls tear. "Mommy had problems", The grandpa tried to explain. The little girl only 5, Didnt understand anything but pain. "When is mommy coming back?" "I promise to be good!" "Oh my love" her grandpa said, "If only she could..." "Mommy went to a place called heaven", "she's watching over you day and night". "She loved you very dearly", "She's not in pain anymore everythings alright". The little girl weeped, Day after day Wondering why mommy left her, And why she couldnt stay... Her mommy went out one night, Never to return. Called to the hospital, The family hurried with concern. Mommy had OD'd, Life was too tough. She didnt have a husband, Raising a child on her own was rough. Just couldnt deal, Couldnt live w/herself. Too many memories, Cropped up on a shelf. ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Michele - All Rights Reserved | |||
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
this is what i call a lumpinthethroatputter. cliched and high-schoolish..but a lumpinthethroatputter!...how did you manage to put that lump in my throat michele?  |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
LoL i dont know how i did it...all i kno is its true and i had the lump put in my throat watching that little girl w/her grandpa ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
You have ventured into a topic that is so realistic I myself have a friend who has done the same and left a 2 and 1 yr old with their aunt this is very sad, I hope other learn from this thanks for sharing Shelly là où est mon amour? |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Wow. I'm speechless. ~I am a computer genius... Hey! How do you turn this thing on?!? |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
very nice poem...wow! nice story telling ...personally I wanted a continuation!  Salma |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
You might just get a continuation...right now the little girl is living w/her grandparents...she doesnt even know who her father is, neither does her grandparents...its sad but i just felt like i needed to share it with you guys... Im glad you all appreciated the poem Thanks for taking the time to read itShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I feel bad for the kid  là où est mon amour? |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
Oh man, this is so sad. I hope the little girl eventually can learn that it was not her fault that her Mommy went away. Dawn |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
So sad... Man! this is sad. Great job. One of those that kind of grabs you and makes you go Damn!!! I liked it alot. Thought maybe the ending needed something more though, otherwise it was excellent. Jon "Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
sad...truly a sad situation. the somewhat dialogue was wonderfully protrayed with the emotions within this realistic piece. i liked it, Michelle.  i wish the best for the child. =) |
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Le Capitan de L'Amour Member
since 2000-07-15
Posts 60 |
Hey nice work.I like it a lot,maybe we should chat sometime! The best things in life are right in front of your eyes when you least expect them! |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Wow.... this isn't the first time one of your poems have left speechless but this one really left a lump in my throat.You conveyed a very seriours subject perfectly through your poem and you have a very special talent.But anyway I loved this poem just like every other poem of yours I have ever read.Keep up the awsome work. Lauren |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Thanks everyone im glad you all enjoyed it...i wish i didnt even have something like this to write about but since i do im glad to write about it...it puts me somewhat at easy with what happened..thanks again for the replies ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
OMG...  This is so heartwrenching!! You have such a way with words that I am in awe of you each and every time you write something. It is so sad that this is actually a reality for so many.Thank you for sharing this with us all. I really enjoyed the read. ~AF~ Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my gosh....I could be eating a slow learner. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wow... this was definitely a tear-jerker. You did a beautiful job portraying such a real life incident. I think that this grabbed many people. After reading it through, I had to sit back, and really think about how thankful I am for my life to be the way it is. Thank you for posting this poem, you did a very nice job, and I enjoyed it bunches. --Marie If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Thank you both for your replies..this really was a tough thing to see happening...but i too got a lot out of the experience..it made me as well sit back and take a long hard look at my life...thank you for reading ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Thank You for sharing such an important poem là où est mon amour? |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Thank you for reading it! ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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