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Teen Poetry #5

Murmurs

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-10-30 06:35 PM

im tired of the whispers
i can hear them clearly
a murmur of soundless
breath exhaled across my mind

barely audible i feel you
a fathomless rustle of speach
creeps over my bare flesh
sensations of sound dancing

i hear what goes unspoken
as i hear what you say
i feel the engulfing length
spreading its wings between us

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

I know Im not perfect but I can smile
& I hope that you c this heart behind my tired eyes

never_a_princess
Member

since 2001-06-09

Posts 82
Show Me the Money

1 posted 2001-10-30 08:53 PM

ooh! I like this one! i especially like the "I hear what goes unspoken, as I hear what you say" part! really well-written, Tifferz! *hugz* luv ya!
__o0o_Anna_o0o__ *waves*

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

2 posted 2001-10-30 09:56 PM

ooh, i like this one.

honestly i don't think it's as strong as some of your other work, but very enjoyable none the less.

oh, one thing.

*speech not speach.

- jen

so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

3 posted 2001-10-31 12:25 PM

Last stanza: Awesome! Keep it up!

~I am a computer genius... Hey! How do you turn this thing on?!?

~Love me because I am Rhonda

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

4 posted 2001-10-31 10:03 AM

Beautifully written...i enjoyed this one a lot..great job and keep em comin!

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

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