The War She Waged - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

hoppy
Member

since 2000-01-27

Posts 271

0 posted 2001-10-29 02:05 PM

falling, falling down the stairs
dying, dying, watching all the stares
Knowing, knowing that no one cares
Completing, Completing a life, deep dispares

Saw it falling, knew it happened there
Asymptotic, felt it level there
Watch the space, juxtaposed, lonely stare
Tell me now, it's more than i can bare

Severed limbs, dancing round the stage
Truth be spoken, assured of early curtain
Tightly bound, deeply uttered death be certain
Unknowing words were spoken, upon this war she waged

10-29-01

i could be bounded in a nut shell and count myself king of infinite space

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

1 posted 2001-10-29 02:28 PM

wow, that was depressing..but yet good. that's really good actually, and its' going into my library. thanks for sharing!!

~*~I'm in love with a man named ZU~*~ *huggles Krissy*

Pixie-Babe03
Member

since 2000-08-29

Posts 387
Central Maine

2 posted 2001-10-29 06:26 PM

another on that left me speechless... wow...
*Pixie*

hoppy
Member

since 2000-01-27

Posts 271

3 posted 2001-10-29 09:36 PM

i think i like this one, only spent about 3 minutes writting it, wasn't sure how it would turn out. I find the shorter i spend writing the better it is.

dang i'm good *LOL*

i could be bounded in a nut shell and count myself king of infinite space

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-10-30 04:43 AM

I really liked the first stanza. I felt that you wrote it nicely, and even though the rest of the poem kind of leaves that specific form, it was still an awesome piece.
Well done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

5 posted 2001-10-30 10:33 AM

Great poem!! I loved how this was worded...great job!!!

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

hoppy
Member

since 2000-01-27

Posts 271

6 posted 2001-10-30 04:38 PM

the reason it looses that form is like a slow decline into anarchy and confusion. The more wild and confused the narrator becomes the more disorganized his thought and sentence structure

everyone starts out with organized intentions, then they slowly fade away

i could be bounded in a nut shell and count myself king of infinite space

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.