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Teen Poetry #5
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baby0508
Member
since 2001-05-16
Posts 58
Moodus, Connecticut

0 posted 2001-10-25 01:07 PM


If I were gone...


If I were gone today
and I was no longer here.
Would you even care?
Would you shed a single tear.

Would you remember all the times we spent
Happy as can be?
Or would I sooner just become,
a fading memory?

If you could travel back in time,
Would you give "us" another try?
Would you finally come to realize,
It was too soon to say goodbye?

I shed my last tear for you,
I'd just like to let you know.
I cried because of you,
Because you let me go.

Now I'm gone because I loved you,
and life without you was not the same.
Now I'm gone because I needed you,
and I could not take the pain.


© Copyright 2001 Heather - All Rights Reserved
HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York
1 posted 2001-10-25 02:00 PM


This poem is very good.  I'm not just saying that, though t suits my mood at the moment.  I've been through that before.
Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
2 posted 2001-10-25 09:18 PM


Hon, I don't know what to say! It is an awesome poem, and I totally feel your pain.  

It takes more work to love myself than to love others... I guess that explains it, eh?

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
3 posted 2001-10-26 02:30 AM


oh man am I feelin this one. Sucks huh?!?! Newho..great read. keep it up...and dont worry, it'll be ok   it always is

*dq

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
4 posted 2001-10-26 01:45 PM


I completely relate to what your saying and how you feel..i wonder the same things too sometimes..althought i doubt its true for anyone...if  you were gone you would be missed..no doubt...but still how you expressed the feelings in  your poem was wonderful...good job ::hugs::

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
5 posted 2001-10-27 01:01 AM


It's never easy losing someone. Mind you, you'll apreciate the next person that comes along more if you have been through heartache.
I hope you'll be ok and keep writing. Getting things out is better than letting them fester inside.

~AF~

Maybe I'm just a girl...interrupted.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-10-30 04:39 AM


I think the poem rocked. As far as flow and form was concerned, I didn't think the second stanza belonged. It didn't fit within the formatting or the flow of the rest of the poem. All in all the poem was awesome. I'm sorry about  the pain  you're going through, but the poem was great. Hope to see more.  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
7 posted 2001-11-04 08:24 PM


Your poem is really sad but one of the best I have ever read on here.I hope things get better for you.But anyway great poem I loved it keep up the awsome work.
  Lauren

HVNsnt82086
Junior Member
since 2001-06-05
Posts 30
United States
8 posted 2001-11-04 10:43 PM


this poem was very touching. i know that ive felt this way at times, but its important to know that life does go on.  some things can hurt us so much but we need to be strong and live through it.  very good job, i look forward to more of your work

"So when you feel like hope is gone, look inside you and be strong, and you'll finally see the truth...that a hero lies in you." *~Mariah Carey- Hero~

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