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Teen Poetry #5
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Knight of Secrecy
Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 113
San Juan, Puerto Rico

0 posted 2001-10-22 12:39 PM


My threshold  (Jester’s Crown)


Welcome to the blackened crystal  palace
Notice the clear black walls that holds you up
On your broken king’s throne inside your broken castle
Welcome to where I behold the grounds of paradise,
To my domain ,  a place for you to call home
The colors are weak here, and weakened you shall be

The darkened colors won’t hear you cry
As the tears fall upon the lake, and dry up
On the broken wings of lovers wakened vice
The mystery due, the clear black truth
Burnt dreams awakened by false life
And your love becomes a mere threshold

This is a darker/altered side of my other poem Jester's Crown.

-CM.



© Copyright 2001 Carlos Machado - All Rights Reserved
punkrockerrobin
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Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
1 posted 2001-10-22 03:55 PM


hmmmmm not bad not bad at all great job!
~*~ROBIN~*~

i'm just dumb!! i can't do nuthin right!

Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
2 posted 2001-10-22 07:22 PM


Oh I like this one!!!! I like the setting you put me in at the very start of the poem!!! Great job!!! Totally into my library!!!!!!!!!  

If you define cowardice as running away, tripping and screaming at the first sign of danger, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.

rolly_polly
Junior Member
since 2001-10-10
Posts 41
puerto rico
3 posted 2001-10-23 04:58 PM


  Very good poem from you Carlos...thanx for the read  

~parallel universe~

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
4 posted 2001-10-23 07:07 PM


This was very good Carlos, i like it. i love dark poetry, keep it up!

Regina

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-10-23 08:15 PM


Wow, pretty deep here. I really enjoyed this poem a lot. Your poetry is impressive....makes me think and not a lot does that.  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

K. Rebel
Junior Member
since 2001-10-21
Posts 40
San Juan, PR
6 posted 2001-10-23 08:45 PM


Wow! Carlos you have done it again you impressed me with your dark crap...

this is good and my kind of good, dark and very deeply descriptive.

(Sigo pensando que eres pato jajajaj)

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
7 posted 2001-10-23 10:41 PM


Burnt dreams awakened by false life
And your love becomes a mere threshold

oooooooooooh i cant tell you how much i enjoyed this poem of yours carlos!..you guys in pr have one amazing talent! loved the bitterness to no ends poet, keep sharing cuz i really enjoy your work....


         

"......",said the wise mute.

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