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Teen Poetry #5
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fulanodetal3684
Junior Member
since 2001-10-10
Posts 19


0 posted 2001-10-19 07:05 PM


the young girl stood with an absentee expression, she barely maintained the slanted line drawn by her body, hung, her silhouette vacilated, promising to forget about the young girl's form

the reaction of her shadow was long awaited, it never had the decency of coloring the rejected spaces, a gentle breeze outlined her figure, an undefined free underlined her visual

and just like that with no shadow to grab her by the feet and minimize her perception, just like that with no consistant line or definite impression, she dissolved her debility and all her justifications, forgot to converge in time and space and all demarcations, forgot to articulate the pledge of allegiance or any trivial significance, and forgot to explain or detail what was of her existance



© Copyright 2001 fulanodetal3684 - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-10-19 07:34 PM


Wow, a poem indeed! Very well done here! I think you have a lot of talent. I look forward to more posts and would like you welcome you to passions!

Check your e-mail for a special message!

Dopey_Dope/Moderator

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
2 posted 2001-10-19 07:56 PM


Beautifully written. Subtle, yet distant. I can see where the "abstract" came from. A thoughtful poem, deeply felt, and well said. I'm glad to see something a little different in these forums! Something more descriptive. Thank you for the read, and welcome to passions! I hope you like it here, and feel free to reply to other poets' works!  

++ Leah ++

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

AngelShell
Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...
3 posted 2001-10-19 11:44 PM


Wow!  I mean totally WOW!
That is an amazing write.
Well, well, well, well done.
Great first post...keep 'em coming.

~I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say but I'm working on it~

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
4 posted 2001-10-30 05:58 PM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!!
I'm very very very impressed with this one
I guess everyone else shows how they feel about it
hope to see you post more

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?


Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
5 posted 2001-10-31 12:10 PM


WOW!!! Welcome to Passions!!! I think I'm going to like your poetry! This one is so cool!!!

~I am a computer genius... Hey! How do you turn this thing on?!?

~Love me because I am Rhonda

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
6 posted 2001-10-31 10:04 AM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!

Well i jus dont know what to say...this was a very strong piece and an excellent first post!! I cant wait to read more from you so please, keep those poems coming!! Welcome again!!

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

Winston Froom
Junior Member
since 2001-11-28
Posts 32

7 posted 2002-01-25 09:41 AM


Well, la...  I was reading Philosopher and I decided to review your other poems and well this one was pretty  bloody awesome...  I am still with me devastating writer's block and to tell you the truth it's becoming a physical illness by now.  Anyway great job (band) mate.
Mon Cherie
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers
8 posted 2002-01-25 10:47 AM


Great first post!!!

WELCOME TO PASSIONS IN POETRY...

Hope to see more of your works in future.

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
9 posted 2002-01-26 01:12 PM


Welcome to Passions!!=) and I have to get my jaw back up from the floor..Wow..very powerful words..I am impressed highly...hope to read more from you..

Kristen

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