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Teen Poetry #5
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hoppy
Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271


0 posted 2001-10-17 07:17 PM



so if i put it in a nice cute verse
it'll prevent your words and curse
if i say what i mean then you won't stumble
because even slant rhyme causes some to fumble
Over the idea of what you're speaking of
but as long as it's end rhyme, tight as a glove
you can say whatever you wish
such as "poetry is a dead shallow fish"

but i think it not, so what you speak
in haunty words and condemning tones
one speaks but three words
and the world it turns, falls and burns
what if i were to speak a million
phrases and metaphors, would even you grasp
what i was reaching for?
shaltn't you ever raise your voice in envy
For i give you such a gift, and you deny it freely

What is it you have to answer?
But to answer you have to ask?
And to ask you have to speak?
And to speak you have to know,
The answer.

© Copyright 2001 Hoppy - All Rights Reserved
Nan
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
1 posted 2001-10-17 08:19 PM


As long as an originating post in a poetry forum is a poem - and it follows our very reasonable guidelines - Yep - It'll stay in the poetry forum.  It's really pretty simple - Poetry forums for poetry, and discussion forums for discussion...  
hoppy
Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271

2 posted 2001-10-17 08:28 PM


so let me get this straight.....if the "origninating" post is a "poem" we can discuss it but if it is not we can't?

so therefore my original poem of "I have returned" cannot be discussed even though it is a poem.

so can we not discuss a poem once it is posted or is that against the rules too?  cause i was looking for a little input on this one.  you can use verse if that's the rules, whatever, feedback is what this is about, so give it

is not a poetry forum for the discussion of a poem?

[This message has been edited by hoppy (edited 10-17-2001).]

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-10-17 09:41 PM


hey there, hoppy i think poetry forums are MAINLY to post poetry and get feedback(opinions on the poem) yet when one wants to disscuss it in a in-depth amtter theres a forum called "critical anaysis" they might give you a better discussion EVEN though if you post it here we the readers and writers shall give our opinions on the poem...as i will right now.

i thought this had a lot of bitterness somewhat from your experience in here?...hmm maybe not? i think you did a well done job on expressing your feelings form whatever reason it came from...i enjoyed this and hope to more!

=)

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
4 posted 2001-10-24 07:02 PM


bitterness or not, I'm very impressed with the way this poem is written.  One of the best I've read today, even probably the best  

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?


Skyfire
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since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
5 posted 2001-10-24 07:09 PM


Doesn't it also depend on the language and intent used?

This one is a cute one though!

It takes more work to love myself than to love others... I guess that explains it, eh?

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