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Teen Poetry #5
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Knight of Secrecy
Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 113
San Juan, Puerto Rico

0 posted 2001-10-17 05:28 PM


Broken
         Sea  
                Reef

if you see me one day
on the street or in a dream
take your walk threw The Broken Sea Reefs
and leave your blood on their rocks

leave your bones in an open book
put your heart in the last page
leave things just like they were
for all things shall pass away.


© Copyright 2001 Carlos Machado - All Rights Reserved
rolly_polly
Junior Member
since 2001-10-10
Posts 41
puerto rico
1 posted 2001-10-17 05:44 PM


  Heyas! Another great post from Mr.Secrecy..I really enjoyed this poem, as well as your others, i think you have a wonderful technique and style...go u! lol
Hope to see more...take care you  


chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
2 posted 2001-10-17 06:43 PM


"if you see me one day
on the street or in a dream"
Beautiful lines. ^_^ Almost reminds me of my own "City Stones", but wow, those are great lines.

"leave things just like they were
for all things shall pass away."
This brings back memories of childhood...I wish we could leave things alone...
I really loved the tone you set throughout the entire piece...your poems seem to have that distinct character about them. Thanks for the read! ^_^

++ Leah ++

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

quietlydying
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz
3 posted 2001-10-17 06:48 PM


i really enjoyed this piece.

i'm one for the short poems.

:: grins ::

- jen

so foul and fair a day i have not seen.  - macbeth act 1, scene 3

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-10-17 10:03 PM


nice flow ...short but PACKED with meaning.

=)

never_a_princess
Member
since 2001-06-09
Posts 82
Show Me the Money
5 posted 2001-10-17 10:26 PM


good poem! stretches as deep as the reef you spoke of.
__o0o_Anna_o0o__   *waves*

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
6 posted 2001-10-18 10:03 AM


This was a really enjoyable piece!! It was simply said but was full of meaning..i like that. Nice job!

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-10-18 06:15 PM


Hey there Knight. Well done! I think you wrote a wonderful piece here. Do we know each other? I live in San Juan too....
Anyhow....hope to see more.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

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