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Passions in Poetry

last dance [repost]

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quietlydying
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since 06-10-2001
Posts 1316
the wonderful land of oz


0 posted 10-17-2001 01:36 AM       View Profile for quietlydying   Email quietlydying   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for quietlydying

For all of the times you said to me
'here, we’ll go for ice cream
or maybe a soda',
and ran off
with the leaves
down the street.

For all of the times you
brought orange juice and root
beer just to
leave me [forget, neglect…ignore?]out in the sun
for a few hours
too many.

Tying together the laces of my
boot, you somehow
hold it all together
until
I trip on
the
last dance.


just curious as to your views on the following piece.

- jen

so foul and fair a day i have not seen.  - macbeth act 1, scene 3

© Copyright 2001 jennifer elizabeth - All Rights Reserved
pharon
Member
since 11-13-1999
Posts 251
alabama


1 posted 10-17-2001 02:04 AM       View Profile for pharon   Email pharon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit pharon's Home Page   View IP for pharon

this is a great poem...it makes me so sad that this is true for so many people..good job.

            me
Knight of Secrecy
Member
since 10-12-2001
Posts 122
San Juan, Puerto Rico


2 posted 10-17-2001 10:05 AM       View Profile for Knight of Secrecy   Email Knight of Secrecy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Knight of Secrecy

Great story-like poem, very good,
-CM.

BlackDove
Junior Member
since 10-14-2001
Posts 19
Why are you reading this???


3 posted 10-17-2001 04:29 PM       View Profile for BlackDove   Email BlackDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for BlackDove

Nice flow and word usage here!! rock on!  

All the plastic people who live without a care.Try to sit around my table and never bring a chair...

anonymous albert ?
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since 03-23-2001
Posts 4172


4 posted 10-17-2001 10:21 PM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

interetsing way of discribing a last dance. i enjoyed it, Jenn

=)

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 09-26-2000
Posts 3830
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs


5 posted 10-18-2001 09:58 AM       View Profile for xShUgArHiGhx   Email xShUgArHiGhx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit xShUgArHiGhx's Home Page   View IP for xShUgArHiGhx

Yea i agree, i thought this was a very interesting way of describing a last dance..i enjoyed it a lot though! Great job and keep em comin!

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

quietlydying
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since 06-10-2001
Posts 1316
the wonderful land of oz


6 posted 11-02-2002 12:19 AM       View Profile for quietlydying   Email quietlydying   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for quietlydying

well, it wasn't really about a last dance.



but thanks for taking the time to read.

/jen/

what if they gave a war, and nobody came...

 
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