navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Daydream
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic Daydream Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-10-16 10:41 PM


First off, I want to say that this poem isn't anything about my mental condition, it's just a simple musing on a subject.  With that in mind, enjoy.
-----------------
Daydream

I would like to think
Death by hanging seems logical
to fight till the rope swings
              the door springs
         and  the choir sings
                            Amazing Grace
All in beautiful perfect harmony
Hanging
on a Monday afternoon
Children will play on the lawn of the courthouse
who can hit me on the nose
with the biggest rock.
and some last innocuos remark of mine
still carrying on the breeze
of that warm Monday afternoon.

"and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings

© Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved
quietlydying
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz
1 posted 2001-10-17 01:54 AM


wow.

i am speechless.

honestly.

this has got to be one of the best amateur pieces i have read in a LONG TIME.

absolutely amazing.

i never use my library, but for this, i will.

wow.

- jen

so foul and fair a day i have not seen.  - macbeth act 1, scene 3

pharon
Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251
alabama
2 posted 2001-10-17 02:09 AM


do you know how many times i've thought nearly the exact thing..i love when my mind wonders and takes me places like that.  once again, wow...good job

                me

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
3 posted 2001-10-17 04:07 AM


Great work this is something a little differrent to what we have seen recently, I like the sentiments you express in this poem, thanks for sharing  

"Ph33r Me I eat N00bies Ph0R bReakFAsT"
- Replying might be your only hope of getting noticed -

Knight of Secrecy
Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 113
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-10-17 10:09 AM


Truly a great poem, very cool format and style.

-CM.

quietlydying
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz
5 posted 2001-10-17 07:04 PM


whoops, i forgot to add it into my library.

heh.

my bad.

- jen

so foul and fair a day i have not seen.  - macbeth act 1, scene 3

FoxXena
Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 141
where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted
6 posted 2001-10-17 07:08 PM


Wow...this is great! See yah!  

~*~It is said that laughter is the shortest distance between two people...~*~
~*~I say it is the written word.~*~

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

7 posted 2001-10-17 10:05 PM


great poem...your words holds beauty...i liked this one.

=)

never_a_princess
Member
since 2001-06-09
Posts 82
Show Me the Money
8 posted 2001-10-17 10:36 PM


very nicely written. seeing that it doesn't have to do with your "mental state," it's a lovely poem that expresses a lot.
__o0o_Anna_o0o__   *waves*

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
9 posted 2001-10-18 10:04 AM


Wow ur mind holds a lot of amazing stuff...i dont think anything my mind really wanders off to is worth writing down though lol..i enjoyed this a lot! Great piece and keep em comin

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Daydream

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary