navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Don't Critisize Me (Oh yeah! 400!)
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic Don't Critisize Me (Oh yeah! 400!) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding

0 posted 2001-10-10 11:56 PM



~This isn't to you guys at PIP. It's to certain family members of mine.

Don't critisize me.
You don't know where I am.

Don't critisize me.
You don't know where I feel.

Don't critisize me.
You don't know what I want.

I don't know what I want or feel
but that doesn't give you the right.
You're supposed to love me and accept me
Not hound me or
Try and change me; it's just causing a fight.

Don't critisize me.
You don't know how much it hurts.

No one understands or knows
Just how much I feel the pain.
I'm asking as a little girl
Not a teen nor an adult.
I just want my life to show me some gain...

Don't critisize me.
Sometimes I don't want to go on.

I just want to run away
Leave this horrible situation...

Please...
Don't critisize me.


**Not my best, but I'm open to suggestions on how to fix it.

If you define cowardice as running away and screaming at the first sign of danger, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.

© Copyright 2001 Rhonda Adolph - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-10-11 12:08 PM


I could never tell you how to "fix" the words that come from your heart.....you are expressing a part of you....who could change that?! or want to?! not me, I like it just as you wrote it and understand it completely. Congrats on 400 wooohooo!!!  
TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
2 posted 2001-10-11 12:30 PM


This is a great poem I know exactly how you feel and I can't think of anyway to fix it keep up the awsome work.
  Lauren

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
3 posted 2001-10-11 01:44 PM


Congrats on your 400th!

Doesnt it feel like such a nice accomplishment??   N e wayz dont let n e ones criticism get u down...those who criticize have nothing better to talk about...Nice job and i hope thinge get better between u and ur family...once again congrats!

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-10-12 02:55 AM


CONGRATS on 400!!!

i hope it help by writing it out...its hard when someone criticizes...i think you did a nice job on expressing this...no need to fix.

=)

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
5 posted 2001-10-20 04:28 PM


Leave it alone...Me likes it..
Congrats on the 400! Nice write- You put your heat and mind out for us all to see...Wonderful job.

Every now and then I like to stick my foot in my mouth...

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-11-02 09:46 AM


one thing:  this person doesn't seem to deserve you or your company
let him/her go

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Don't Critisize Me (Oh yeah! 400!)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary