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Teen Poetry #5
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pharon
Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251
alabama

0 posted 2001-10-09 03:03 AM


          SHE
    happy
              green
      summer
        
         kissed
    
            winter
   blue
              sad
    
         left

           ME
**simple i know...i hate simple...but it seemed fitting somehow...ugh...oh well**

[This message has been edited by pharon (edited 10-09-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 maria g robinson - All Rights Reserved
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
1 posted 2001-10-09 03:29 AM


Hey simple isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes, all a piece needs is simple writing.  

Thanks for sharing this. Sad but good write.  

~AF~

"I remember the days when I was so eager to satisfy you"
Nelly Furtado - On the radio

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
2 posted 2001-10-09 10:19 AM


I agree w/anonymous..simple aint always a bad thing..sometimes simple is better!! Dont be afraid to wander off your normal course..it makes life interesting  
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-10-17 12:27 PM


I totally got this and i really enjoyed it. very well expressed friend! Truly awesome.  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

BlackDove
Junior Member
since 2001-10-14
Posts 18
Why are you reading this???
4 posted 2001-10-17 04:35 PM


Groovy post. The different style makes for a nice read!! Write again soon  

All the plastic people who live without a care.Try to sit around my table and never bring a chair...

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-10-17 10:16 PM


yea...like haiku they're MORe simple then most poetry but what makes them SO darn good is that each words holds more and more meaning and powerful.

even as it depends on how one wirtes them but you got it...well, i liked it.  


[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 10-17-2001).]

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
6 posted 2001-10-18 09:56 PM


hey i loved this..esp with the colours and winter summer bit and happy sad...aw darn i used up all the words too!...no i loved the way it mirrored back onto itself.. summer with winter and happy with sad and the colours..i know you dont like this poem, but i can say that i do- you can tell you thought about this one when you wrote it out. good job pharon, i enjoyed this one as much as your others. keep sharing

see the glass crack like a flower opening


       

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