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Teen Poetry #5
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Skyfire
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Riding

0 posted 2001-10-07 07:35 PM


Will you ever love me
The way I need to be loved?

Will you ever hug me
The way I need to be hugged?

Will you ever kiss me
The way I want to be kissed?

Will it be you with whom
I find romantic bliss?


Will you ever hurt me
The way I've been hurt before?

Will you ever hate me
So it's you that I abhor?

Will we ever argue
Like I did with him?

Will you ever make my life
So incredibly, horribly, dim?


Will I ever want you
The way I want the new guy?

How long will it really be
Until we say good-bye?

Will I get a red rose
Or just get friendship yellow?

Will we be very passionate
Or will we be quite mellow?

If you define cowardice as running away and screaming at the first sign of danger, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.

© Copyright 2001 Rhonda Adolph - All Rights Reserved
NathanS
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since 2001-09-27
Posts 106
CA
1 posted 2001-10-07 10:41 PM


Very nice  
~applause~

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
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Twilight Zone
2 posted 2001-10-16 05:46 PM


Doesn't life have so many questions needed to be answered?
I just hope you do find the answers
thanks for sharing



hi Sweets/puff puff/bubbles ,  Lizzy ,  Jesa ,  Ina ,  Allysa ,  Marie ,  Cherish ,  Jenn ,  Minna ,  Chelsea ,  Leah ,  Kimmie ,  Ashley ,  Smurfy ,  Alexia ,  PG01 ,  Kamie ,  Kari ,  Nan ,  Sea ,   Javi ,  Zu ,  Lml ,  Albertia ,  Linc ,  Jesse ,    

anonymous albert ?
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3 posted 2001-10-17 02:38 AM


i agree so many question so few answers...the poem was nice...great job.

=)

Marshalzu
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Lurking
4 posted 2001-10-17 03:58 AM


Great read Skyfire, thanks for sharing  

Andrew

"Ph33r Me I eat N00bies Ph0R bReakFAsT"
- Replying might be your only hope of getting noticed -

holatuwol
Member
since 2001-04-27
Posts 72
California, USA
5 posted 2001-10-17 09:27 PM


CUTE! ^^  This poem was cute!  Majorly cute!  Except the ending didn't seem to be fulfilling... ^^;  For some reason, the pairs of lines in of themselves seemed really cute, but I thought a different ordering of them might have given a stronger effect... o.o;  But how it should be ordered generally would pend on your mood, I suppose.

The poem seems to be like a mind musing over various thoughts... ^^  And in that, it has lots of charm, and because of that charm, this poem was really cute! ^__^  I still think that the effect could be better if the ending was different... not stronger or weaker, but different... it had the right tone, but the wrong words, I guess you could say... ^^;  I'm bad at clarification... but, I think that overall, the thoughts were cute, but the arrangement didn't seem to flow well... 'cept for maybe the beginning. ^_^

In any case, I liked this one!  Another decent love poem in a sea of evil ones which don't make sense... it used and played on a lot of clichés, but nevertheless, they were combined in a tasteful manner, making it relatively enjoyable. ^_^  Thank you muchlies for the read, and look forward to others of yours.  Until next time!


- holatuwol

never_a_princess
Member
since 2001-06-09
Posts 82
Show Me the Money
6 posted 2001-10-17 10:29 PM


Excellent poem!! I love all the questions, and I like the transition from questions of love to hate and so forth. Rock on!
__o0o_Anna_o0o__   *waves*

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

xShUgArHiGhx
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
7 posted 2001-10-18 01:42 PM


I really liked this poem...i hope he never hurts you the way u've been hurt before!!! But i hope ya get all the good stuff  

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

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navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » A really good one! (untitled as of yet)

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