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Teen Poetry #5
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silvrduck
Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146


0 posted 2001-10-03 03:22 PM


A poem about me and my dearest.. and how my friends' opinions aren't exactly in our favor. I'm eager to hear what you think on this subject -- and what you think of the poem of course    
================================


Dear friends,

you say “he’s not for you
loving him isn’t right
you’re the heaven’s day
and him, the blackest night--
just like his clothing
nothing you have the same
you shouldn’t have let it be
is it your weak faith to blame?
why do you fool yourself,
you’ll just get hurt in the end
you’re only seventeen, hun,
there’s a world of better men.”

well thank you for caring,
I appreciate it you know
but this is my dear fairytale
he is the path I choose to go
I wont loose my pact with heaven
it’s something I could not give
and I wont sacrifice my faith
he knows of the life I live
my friends, I must say
that you just don’t understand
this boy is my life, my love
and he is that better man!

he may not be a christian
I know that worries you all
I’ve always been behind each of you
please trust me to make this call
it may not be the ‘right’ thing
and it will mean pain to come
but he and I, we know this
and we’re willing to deal with some.
it’s said you can’t choose your love
it sneaks up on you from behind
friends, he was that kind of thing
I love him, yes.  
but don’t think that I am blind.


[This message has been edited by silvrduck (edited 10-04-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 silvrduck - All Rights Reserved
AngelPoet87
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280
Indy
1 posted 2001-10-03 06:00 PM


*throws you a party* I REALLY REALLY REALLY like this one! Great job!

~Ali
btw..what Jewel song is your signature from?

[This message has been edited by AngelPoet87 (edited 10-03-2001).]

silvrduck
Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146

2 posted 2001-10-03 09:52 PM


thanks Ali! I'm really glad you liked it   *grabs one of those noise-maker thingies... too fun!*

the quote is from "Deep Water".. very good song, I think. Are you a Jewel fan?

*the chains which have held us are only the chains which we've made*
~jewel

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
3 posted 2001-10-04 02:12 PM


Hey. Before I even begin to start on the poem, TRY to stop putting please read on your title line. You're more likely to have poets pass over it and ignore the piece completely which is not what you want. If you want people to reply, reply to others which will raise your name a bit.  

Now the piece I love! It says so much. Your friends seem like narrowminded people that have absolutely no idea about how the real world works. I don't like religion much...actually the regimented ones that is but I was with a Catholic guy for a little while and it was quite interesting him trying to bring me back to the light.  
Anyway, stick to your guns. If you love him, stay with him. Matters of personal belief shouldn't get in the way of what really matters.  

~AF~

I look at myself in the mirror; am I vital today?
Nelly Furtado - Hey Man

Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
4 posted 2001-10-04 11:20 PM


Well, I say that you have to follow your heart. It sounds to me like you have your priorities straight, and I'm glad. I've been in that situation, and although it is hard at times, it is NOT impossible, no matter what you friends may think. Just don't give up God for a man. That was my mistake, and I'm still paying for it. Good luck!!!

Rhonda

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind".

NathanS
Member
since 2001-09-27
Posts 106
CA
5 posted 2001-10-04 11:45 PM


My girlfriend isn't a Christian, that doesn't stop me from loving her. After all, in the bible it didn't once say- do not love people because they are not Christians, nor did it say do not love them because they are sinners (which we all are) Instead it showed the example of Jesus going and spending time with the ones people hated the most. The important thing is to not let the person sway you from your religion, if you like the person, do not leave him because of your religion- showing people that are close to you how you are different (without preaching) is one of the best ways to bring people to be saved.

Oh, and awesome right!  

            -Nathan

cutie2005
Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 148
Bennett, Colorado USA
6 posted 2001-10-05 09:39 PM


Gurl!!! That was nice! I liked it a lot! I know what you mean.. your friends can't choose who you are going to be wit forever.. There is always a time to tell them to back down.. Nice way of putting it!!! Good job!!!
  Always,
    Amanda

If you love someone you would go to the end of the world for them!



holatuwol
Member
since 2001-04-27
Posts 72
California, USA
7 posted 2001-10-09 04:29 AM


...I had a flash of a soundtrack from the title (anyone know of a soundtrack titled "Dear Friends"?) and so I was intrigued to start reading this piece... it's definitely not what I expected when I first started reading, but that's not entirely a bad thing because surprises are often pleasant for the reader and they add an extra level of spice to life. ^_^

On the poem itself... the rhyme was really well-used.  The way the lines were situated made the rhymes difficult to notice early on and later on... in the middle, you kinda fell short and made the rhymes obvious, but beyond that, the effective use of rhyme made the poem flow really well and made it echo in such a way that the reader concentrated on the message of the poem rather than on any awkwardness you might have had in expressing that message... and you didn't seem awkward at all, which is a major plus.

On the subject itself... I'm not exactly the most sentimental of people or anything like that, nor can I say that I'm really pious.  But, I have to agree with your friends that you might run into trouble later on... not for the reasons that they have, but for some of my own reasons and from what I've witnessed in relationships where people come from conflicting religious backgrounds.

Religion, as many people say, won't stop you from loving each other.  "Romantic love" is a type of love distinct from most other kinds of love in that it promotes reckless abandon... it can disregard all circumstances and transcend essentially any barriers in order to survive and thrive.  It really is incredible, if you want to think of it and analyse the way love works... but I digress.

But, religion may still stop you from being together, even if it fails to drown out your emotions... "Perfect as lovers, better as friends," is a situation that many religious clashes come to, if the situation is treated too lightly or too heavily.  Parents come into play often, as well, with the more religious parents being against the less religious mate.  And eloping won't let you escape it, unless a compromise is made (usually sacrifice of religion is the end result of such a "compromise") or one is converted to the other's faith.

To avoid it, you need to give enough weight to the situation at hand, but not too much nor too little.  Where that middle ground is, few couples ever discover, as they either eventually divide, or if it manages to overcome that obstacle, most will raise childrens who grow up in such situations that alienate them from both parents, forcing them to search out their own paths and looking for whichever meets their desires, even if it will hurt one or both of their parents in the end.


- holatuwol

xShUgArHiGhx
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
8 posted 2001-10-09 10:18 AM


I really enjoyed this poem!!! It hit me on a personal level as well...lemme tell ya from experience...

1. Only YOU know whats right for YOU...listen to others opinions and take them into consideration but dont let them rule all final decisions.
2. You are the only one whose gonna be there in the end of it all..so u might as well make yourself happy.
3. Most likely they dont see everything you see in him so dont give what they say too much power.

I've been there and if it were up to my friends my BF would be gone b4 i even knew him...its your life and you gotta make decisions for yourself..I hope you find what is right for you and everything works out great....Ciao hun

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