patch her up - just like new

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Teen Poetry #5

patch her up - just like new

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

0 posted 2001-09-30 09:49 AM

[patch her up - just like new]

Drinking away the madness
into a stupor
so unrecognizable
we say
'oh, she must not be
feeling well today'.

Too sober, you're drunk
on good intentions and
a meaningless existence.

Has she really fallen
so low
she stands too tall?

Wait, is that possible?

’No’, He says
'here, just have another valium'.

He must know best,
with all of those degrees
on the wall and His name
on the door.

this one was just pure ramblings popping out my head when i wrote it. tell me what you think.

- jen

so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3

[This message has been edited by quietlydying (edited 09-30-2001).]

Raven Skye
Member

since 2001-03-03

Posts 112
.In a House.

1 posted 2001-09-30 11:10 AM

I REALLY LIKE THIS! PLUS you used the word stupor and I love that word hehehehee... WOOHOOO!! Good job!!

*×´¨`·.×*Raven Skye*×´¨`·.×*
Don't just trust yourself,
learn what parts of yourself to trust.

[This message has been edited by Raven Skye (edited 09-30-2001).]

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

2 posted 2001-09-30 12:53 PM

I hate that stupid drug so damn much.

I hope someone wipes it off the face of the earth so that no people will ever take it again!!! *calming down*

Anyway, you write with such a unique style. In fact, the two poems I have read so far have been fantastic. Oooo..I can't wait to see more of them!!

Keep writing and thanks for sharing.

~AF~

"Reality is only a feeble rendering of the energy brought forth by the imagination"

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

3 posted 2001-09-30 11:49 PM

I really loved this poem keep up the awsome work.
Lauren

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

4 posted 2001-10-01 01:10 AM

Well written free verse poem! I have experienced something similar to what this poem discusses, so I can relate. Good job!

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

5 posted 2001-10-01 10:59 AM

This was a very good poem! I liked it a lot

Nice job

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