navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » -=Torn=- (FINISHED)
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic -=Torn=- (FINISHED) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

0 posted 2001-09-17 10:35 PM


*done  

-=Torn=-

Conflicting emotions, crying pleas
tears, they fall, but no one sees
Broken promises and broken hearts
mended wounds are torn apart

Never-ending struggles, bitter tears
crys, they call, but no one hears
Shattered memories and shattered dreams
life's not as easy as you thought it'd be

Twisted recollections, tattered words
a call for love that goes unheard
Shredded confidence and shredded pride
thrown around on life's wild ride

Ridiculed beliefs, bothered thoughts
a continuous battle remains unfought
Ruined today and ruined forever
as I struggle to put the pieces together



**You can't always trust the people you want to**


[This message has been edited by DancinQueen (edited 09-18-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Kiley - All Rights Reserved
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
1 posted 2001-09-18 01:02 AM


Oh man I can totally relate to that. "Shattered memories and shattered dreams
life's not as easy as you thought it'd be" How very true.  

I do like this one, Kiles. It read through really well and the overall feeling in it was pretty good.  

Thanks for the read. Enjoyed it a lot.  

~AF~

"Who needs enemies,
When you've got friends like these
Caught between me and myself again"
Motor Ace - Enemies

TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
2 posted 2001-09-18 01:24 AM


Great poem so far I can relate to it I can't wait to read the rest.Keep up the awsome work!
  Lauren

punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
3 posted 2001-09-18 01:55 AM


This was well done. Just nicely written!  
robin

bye lizzy,javi,acire,cherish,SEA,vicky,laura, and anyone else i forgot i will be back to torment you soon muhahahahahahaha

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
4 posted 2001-09-18 07:06 PM


ooo I liked this alot. Great job on it. Very strong piece. Its going into my library.
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

I know Im not perfect but I can smile
& I hope that you c this heart behind my tired eyes

Alyssa
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385
IM ENGAGED!!!!!
5 posted 2001-09-18 07:31 PM


Very very nice very very!
i like it alot!

"Its a great day tobe alive, I know the suns still shinin when I close my eyes!"
Travis Tritt

Alysia182
Junior Member
since 2001-06-22
Posts 19
CT
6 posted 2001-09-18 09:24 PM


I liked this one alot!  I can relate to it so much.  Very nicely writen.  

Some day, you will ache like I ache!  ~Hole

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

7 posted 2001-09-19 01:43 AM


this piece brought the realistic part of me...SO very true...you have expressed it with powerful emotions...i liked it LOTS, Kiley..

if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry-

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
8 posted 2001-09-19 10:43 AM


I liked this one a whole lot. You did wonderfully on it, glad you've finished it.  
You steal all the thoughts right out of my head!

Jenn


"In the words of a broken heart, it's just emotion taking me over; you'll never see me fall apart, in the words of a broken heart."

[This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (edited 09-19-2001).]

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
9 posted 2001-09-19 05:28 PM


I'm very impressed with this one
it's like you took more time on this
More thoughts and feelings in it
I'm just scared that this might be one of those poems
You know, the not my life poems
For some reason, you have the talent to imulate that really well
thanks for sharing sweets
keep it up

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Allysa, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Ma

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
10 posted 2001-09-19 05:42 PM


Wow! I really liked this one. I can totally relate. It is very emotion filled. I love it. It's going in my library.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
11 posted 2001-09-19 05:54 PM


hey guys   Thanks a ton..

acire~ i know it..lol i write so much better when it has nothing to do with anything

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

AngelPoet87
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280
Indy
12 posted 2001-09-19 08:13 PM


awesome
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
13 posted 2001-09-21 04:28 PM


You really out did yourself here. I really liked it! Very very well done. One of my favs by you.  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
14 posted 2001-09-22 12:42 PM


thanks dopes~means alot coming from you  

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

JBaker515
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458
Dartmouth College
15 posted 2001-09-24 11:14 AM


Kiley!!
This was truly amazing!!...the words flowed so beautifully, you are a gorgeous writer with much talent...you should always write your feelings out on paper because the come out so beautifully!   I speak from my heart here, im sorry i missed this one! Keep it up the incredible work  
Yours Truly,  
Jeff
P.S. If you ever need someone to talk to you, my arms are open for you, I will always be here for you to talk you I promise you that.
~Jeff~

Hi Javi, Kiley, Acire, Carly, Susan, Jen, Marge, Nan, Ron, Kit, Allan, Marie, Alby, and everyone else in PIP!!

[This message has been edited by JBaker515 (edited 09-24-2001).]

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
16 posted 2001-09-24 01:36 PM


Kiley girl!!

This was such a good poem!! I really liked it! Im sorry to hear that your going through this though...you truely know how to put your feelings into words!

::hugs::

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
17 posted 2001-09-25 04:20 PM


hey michi i think u need about 5 more stars to be complete  

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » -=Torn=- (FINISHED)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary