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luckyducky_505
Member

since 2001-04-29

Posts 53
Kentucky, USA

0 posted 2001-09-16 07:01 PM

Isn't my best work but I write what's on my mind!!
I met you in the hall and everything was good.
I waved at you everyday like anybody would.

I didn't know you had a chick,
I soon found out you didn't care because I was part of that click.

I saw you at the festival thing,
You were all up on me.
"What happened with April?" I asked.
"Who's April?" you replied.

I looked at you decided just to walk off,
But to my surprise you followed me and told me she didn't excist.

You are the biggest jerk I think I've ever met,
All you want from me as whatever you can get.
Once you got what you want you are good.

You see my "friend" it ain't gonna be that way,
I'm your girlfriends best friend and I'll tell her whatever you say.

Smile -- because you never know who's falling in love with it.

When you dream you imagine and when you imagine you dream!!

[This message has been edited by luckyducky_505 (edited 09-16-2001).]

Alyssa

Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 385
IM ENGAGED!!!!!

1 posted 2001-09-16 08:24 PM

hmmmm
it expresses good..shows how you feel..i like it!

Do you believe in love at first sight? If not I can walk by again!
----ya...right---

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

2 posted 2001-09-17 03:43 AM

Bah!! What a slimebag!!

Grrrrr....nice write though. Expressed everything well.

~AF~

"Who needs enemies,
When you've got friends like these
Caught between me and myself again"
Motor Ace - Enemies

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

3 posted 2001-09-30 12:32 PM

YOU GO GIRL
make him suffer

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Jesa, Ina, Allysa, Marie, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Chelsea, Baker, Leah, Jess, Kimmie

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

4 posted 2001-09-30 08:04 AM

WOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Kick his sorry butt. Stupid male! Those kind screw it up for the rest of them....!

Anyway, as to critiques, I loved the emotion within this one, but a few spelling errors distracted me... I believe you put "excist" but it should be "exist"...there are only a few. Anyway, other than that, wonderful job!

Jenn

"You've got to get yourself together, you got stuck in a moment, and you can't get out of it."

[This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (edited 09-30-2001).]

Tamma

Senior Member

since 2000-01-17

Posts 794
In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV

5 posted 2001-10-01 12:44 PM

Good job...he got what he deserved

"A friend's shoulder makes a
nice pillow when you're crying" ~Me
"If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I guess love is too" ~Me

DragonFang
Senior Member

since 2000-03-09

Posts 522
Missouri, USA

6 posted 2001-10-01 12:57 PM

mm Indeed, one should never risk what one isn't willing to lose, and guys like that should lose it all. All in all good poem.

"Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \
I am lost in my own mind.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

7 posted 2001-10-01 11:01 AM

You see my "friend" it ain't gonna be that way,
I'm your girlfriends best friend and I'll tell her whatever you say.

LOL i liked that part!!! Good job and u go girl!!

crazymary
Junior Member

since 2001-06-02

Posts 14
nebraska

8 posted 2001-10-01 09:14 PM

great last lines, i agree. totally says it all. i often wonder to myself how guys can do what they do.

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