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Teen Poetry #5
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knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-09-16 02:01 PM


a silence never broken
or hidden in the light
it crawls between the shadows
always in plain view

a secret never spoken
or uttered from your lips
it creeps along your mind
corrupting one so pure

a promise never broken
or kept for yourself
it springs from one to one
loosening all morals

a dream never spoken
or followed for true self
it circles ever lasting
never to be real



“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

I know Im not perfect but I can smile
& I hope that you c this heart behind my tired eyes


[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 09-16-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved
Alyssa
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Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385
IM ENGAGED!!!!!
1 posted 2001-09-16 08:43 PM


very very nice, deep, and expression filled ramblings hun.

Do you believe in love at first sight? If not I can walk by again!
----ya...right---

silvrduck
Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146

2 posted 2001-09-16 10:45 PM


Hmm... different.. deep... I like it  
great job here

Sarah

*the chains which have held us are only the chains which we've made*
~jewel

[This message has been edited by silvrduck (edited 09-16-2001).]

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
3 posted 2001-09-16 11:23 PM


The last line of each stanza threw me off...I think it was the syllable count or something. I dunno. But the poem itself, WOW! I loved it. It was spectacular. Glad to see a post from you! You did a great job.
I'm trying to figure out which part I liked best...But I'm having a hard time. HeHe I guess it was the last stanza...Though I really liked them ALL!

United we stand, Divided we fall.
Never say die.

punkrockerrobin
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Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
4 posted 2001-09-17 07:14 AM


gO tIfFeRs HeRs KnOw HoW tO wRiTe PoEtRy! hEhE *HuG YoUs* gReAt PoEm ChIcA!!
RoBiN BoBbIn

bye lizzy,javi,acire,cherish,SEA,vicky,laura, and anyone else i forgot i will be back to torment you soon muhahahahahahaha

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
5 posted 2001-09-17 09:09 AM


Hey Tiff!      I've read this a few times now, and every time I do I see something new... I love this one completely, it's got such a depth and meaning to it.  Very serious and very nice to see from you.  
The way you described this... well, whatever you were talking about... it was almost like a riddle.  I'm trying to figure out the solution but it's difficult.
Great work hon!  *peck*  Until next our paths cross.
~Allan


They call me a madman, but I'm not mad at anyone.
~ Cat Rapes Dog, "Aquarius"


[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 09-17-2001).]

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
6 posted 2001-09-17 02:04 PM


This was the greatest use of ramblings i've ever seen...good job!
anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

7 posted 2001-09-19 01:48 AM


wB!...glad to see to back!, Tiff.. ...this poem was VERY deep i enjoyed it as much as it has to my thoughts...and STAY...ok?

if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry-

quietlydying
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Senior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz
8 posted 2001-10-18 07:48 PM


i don't know what to say.

i loved it.

- jen

so foul and fair a day i have not seen.  - macbeth act 1, scene 3

BlackDove
Junior Member
since 2001-10-14
Posts 18
Why are you reading this???
9 posted 2001-10-18 08:27 PM


I LOVED this one Tifferoke!!  I still love your style...but I rarely see it. Keep posting  

Tomorrow never knows what it doesn't know too soon.  -Noel Gallagher

never_a_princess
Member
since 2001-06-09
Posts 82
Show Me the Money
10 posted 2001-10-24 08:09 PM


wowzers. :P Good poem Tifferage!! *nods biggishly* Love the form you used! keep postin your art.   *hugz*
__o0o_Anna_o0o__   *waves*

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

Skyfire
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since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
11 posted 2001-10-24 11:54 PM


I love the poem except for the last line in each stanza... just doesn't work for me. But otherwise it's great! Keep it up!

It takes more work to love myself than to love others... I guess that explains it, eh?

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