Teen Poetry #5 |
just ramblings of nothing |
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
a silence never broken or hidden in the light it crawls between the shadows always in plain view a secret never spoken or uttered from your lips it creeps along your mind corrupting one so pure a promise never broken or kept for yourself it springs from one to one loosening all morals a dream never spoken or followed for true self it circles ever lasting never to be real “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” I know Im not perfect but I can smile & I hope that you c this heart behind my tired eyes [This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 09-16-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved | |||
Alyssa
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
very very nice, deep, and expression filled ramblings hun. Do you believe in love at first sight? If not I can walk by again! |
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silvrduck Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146 |
Hmm... different.. deep... I like it great job here Sarah *the chains which have held us are only the chains which we've made* ~jewel [This message has been edited by silvrduck (edited 09-16-2001).] |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
The last line of each stanza threw me off...I think it was the syllable count or something. I dunno. But the poem itself, WOW! I loved it. It was spectacular. Glad to see a post from you! You did a great job. I'm trying to figure out which part I liked best...But I'm having a hard time. HeHe I guess it was the last stanza...Though I really liked them ALL! United we stand, Divided we fall. |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
gO tIfFeRs HeRs KnOw HoW tO wRiTe PoEtRy! hEhE *HuG YoUs* gReAt PoEm ChIcA!! RoBiN BoBbIn bye lizzy,javi,acire,cherish,SEA,vicky,laura, and anyone else i forgot i will be back to torment you soon muhahahahahahaha |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hey Tiff! I've read this a few times now, and every time I do I see something new... I love this one completely, it's got such a depth and meaning to it. Very serious and very nice to see from you. The way you described this... well, whatever you were talking about... it was almost like a riddle. I'm trying to figure out the solution but it's difficult. Great work hon! *peck* Until next our paths cross. ~Allan They call me a madman, but I'm not mad at anyone. ~ Cat Rapes Dog, "Aquarius" [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 09-17-2001).] |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was the greatest use of ramblings i've ever seen...good job! |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wB!...glad to see to back!, Tiff.. ...this poem was VERY deep i enjoyed it as much as it has to my thoughts...and STAY...ok? if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry- |
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quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
i don't know what to say. i loved it. - jen so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3 |
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BlackDove Junior Member
since 2001-10-14
Posts 18Why are you reading this??? |
I LOVED this one Tifferoke!! I still love your style...but I rarely see it. Keep posting Tomorrow never knows what it doesn't know too soon. -Noel Gallagher |
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never_a_princess Member
since 2001-06-09
Posts 82Show Me the Money |
wowzers. :P Good poem Tifferage!! *nods biggishly* Love the form you used! keep postin your art. *hugz* __o0o_Anna_o0o__ *waves* Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I love the poem except for the last line in each stanza... just doesn't work for me. But otherwise it's great! Keep it up! It takes more work to love myself than to love others... I guess that explains it, eh? |
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