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Teen Poetry #5
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Hallucination
Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419


0 posted 2001-09-15 12:08 PM


No matter where I look I see your face
I can not hide I won’t erase.
Every single moment spend with you
Is a dream come true.
I love you till death do us part
With every single beat of my heart
And with every tears in my eye
I need you by my side.

The night is long when you’re not here
My soul’s getting colder when you’re not near.
The night is long when you’re not there to hold
My heart’s getting wicker when your not close.

Loneliness are eating me from inside
I sit and cry late at night.
Cause my life is so empty without you
How I wish you knew.
I love you till death do us part
With every single beat of my heart
And with every tears in my eye
I need you by my side.

The night is long when you’re not here
My soul’s getting colder when you’re not near.
The night is long when you’re not there to hold
My heart’s getting wicker when your not close.

When you’re not here
Colder when you’re not near
You’re not there to hold
Weaker when you’re not close

The night is long when you’re not here
My soul’s getting colder when you’re not near.
The night is long when you’re not there to hold
My heart’s getting wicker when your not close.


© Copyright 2001 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-09-15 01:59 PM


this is really great, I'd offer only one thing(check your spelling on some words)  
very heartfelt  

"It's true/the way I feel
was promised by your face
the sound of your voice
painted on my memories
even if you're not with me
I'm with you"
~LP~

lil_pwheeler
Junior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 39
here
2 posted 2001-09-15 05:03 PM


Very heart felt with a lot of fealing. Its sad in a me sort of way.
Pat

No one dies a virgin, life screws us all

pharon
Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251
alabama
3 posted 2001-09-15 06:27 PM


good job on this one!  
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
4 posted 2001-09-16 01:36 PM


"The night is long when you’re not here
My soul’s getting colder when you’re not near.
The night is long when you’re not there to hold
My heart’s getting wicker when your not close."

Man I could REALLY relate to those lines.   Great write. I enjoyed the read.

~AF~

"Who needs enemies,
When you've got friends like these
Caught between me and myself again"
Motor Ace - Enemies

Alyssa
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385
IM ENGAGED!!!!!
5 posted 2001-09-16 08:48 PM


Very Nice Piece! I really like it!
The night is long..isnt it?

Do you believe in love at first sight? If not I can walk by again!
----ya...right---

silvrduck
Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146

6 posted 2001-09-16 10:32 PM


I loved this.. made me remember some of my own thoughts a little bit....
but anyways! this was great, keep it up  

Sarah

*the chains which have held us are only the chains which we've made*
~jewel

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York
7 posted 2001-09-16 10:52 PM


I really liked this poem, and I know what your talking about, longing for someone.  I know how it feels....  but this poem was really great!  It goes in my library!

Love will come and love will go, but friends are forever (usually).

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-09-30 05:07 PM


A little spelling errors, but it still doesn't lack in content.  
Very sweet poem indeed
Keep it up

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Jesa, Ina, Allysa, Marie, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Chelsea, Baker, Leah, Jess, Kimmie

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