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| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Untitled |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. 
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Heres my horrible attempt of trying to get back in the groove of my poetry style. Self analysis takes it's toll...Notice the choppy lines...Sorry. Hope you can follow. My train of thought is all screwy lately. Untitled Cowardly snake.. Slithering away as confrontation gets too intense. Seething when unable to avoid a query. So petrified of being vulnerable… It relies on its forked tongue, The only weapon it possesses. Vengeful lies… Stinging while the venom oozes through your veins. Driving its fangs deeper with each hiss.. Each fabricated hiss. You have no significance. Its own skin holds all the value. It would sell its soul, If it’s greatest fears were eliminated. So afraid of being hurt, Terrified of losing love. What better way to dodge rejection, Than to be the one rejecting? Each flick of its cold tongue Aids the construction of an invincible wall. Stubbornly, Consciously Hindering the one thing it secretly wants From ever knowing its unvarnished self. It would rather die purposely alone, Than to have lived an accidental life of solitude. So ya, Lets state the obvious. This is about "snake" and how it lies and denies it's way out of everything and anything that might possibly make it weak or vulnerable etc. The others persons feelings don't matter at all as long as it's own feelings are perfectly in tacked ( It's being the snake- duh.) and not threatened at all. But deep down it would do absolutely anything to just be able to close it's eyes, let go, and knock down this emotional barrier that is building up inside. In the end it just can't... So it purposely hurts and lies and denies to save it's own skin, it's own self. And of course, the last 2 lines are incredbly self explanitory. Don't ask me why I picked the snake...I myself have yet to figure that one out as well. Probably could have been written WAY better, but it wasn't.  HaHaOff I go! You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. [This message has been edited by Spice (edited 09-08-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jessica L. Thompson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Ooo Jesa, this is great!! I love the way you took the snake, the deadliest yet sneakiest of all creatures and turned it into this object of manipulation and anger. You've got some excellent imagery in this and the piece itself is very powerful. Some people I know would be able to relate to this well because it's pretty much their lives down pat. Maybe you chose the snake because of it's slippery nature and the fact that in the wild, snakes can adapt to practically any condition and their weapons are what comes out of their mouths. Much like a human in many ways. Way to go on this. Soooo library material. Post more often. I love reading your work. Keep sharing and great job.  ~AF~ "Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?" |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
maybe...snake=  ../DOPEY..  ...HaHa...anyways...i REALLY liked this...very nice symbolism...and imagery was perfect..*ahem* like yourself  LOVED the ending... "It would rather die purposely alone, Than to have lived an accidental life of solitude." you just hit ME a homerun!...buh bye  [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 09-08-2001).] |
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MindlessPoet Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 106Texas |
Hey! I liked how you used to the snake like that in your poem Awesome usage/imagery, and end! For now, all I can do is dream. |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Don't have time to give a long thankyou...But I will soon. I just wanted to set Albert straight... The snake is me. I deny the truth, deny what I feel...Cause I am afraid of being vulnerable... You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
sowwie...i didnt mean to interpret your piece like that...but, i REALLY liked this as i said above "i can relate"esp the ending and its obviously a VERY indeed..deep one...and well said in your reply...thanks for clearing it for me..  ...HaHaHa...buh bye if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry- |
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Delirious_Smurf Member
since 2001-08-08
Posts 90Nothingness,P.R. |
Oh I loved it Jessa! I got what you were saying in this...It was great hun! Who you are and who you will be is right in the palm of your hand. |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Hey! I interpreted this one right! I can really say that I fit that description perfectly, so I say that you got it right. THe poem was very good, and, like so many before me, I LOVED the ending! Only thing is that the wall can be broken, but it takes work. I still can't escape that part of myself. But I guess thats too much info......oh well! The poem was great! 'Nuf said. Love will come and love will go, but friends are forever (usually). [This message has been edited by HopelessRomanticGuy (edited 09-08-2001).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow, the poem is so awesome. I really love how true it is. Jessica, you have a way of taking something that is unsaid, and put it out there in the open. You have a keen perception of the world and I really liked the way your portrayed the whole situation. Very well done here.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
 PHWOOOOOOAR this is EXCELLENT jesa!!!wow it totally rocks! this is what im used to seeing by Jessica the great! wow the imegry within this piece is awesome. i can safely say that i really love this poem chicka. it sent shivers down my spine. loved this one HEAPS!!... "Somehow I managed to single handedly betray myself" Javier Agosto |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
*slide, cover, clickitty click*...  |
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